Should Have Been You
by Torieoo
Summary: Drowning in his own self pity, Shikamaru has a hard time dealing with the fact she's moved on. With a marriage that's falling apart at the seams and a job that's hanging by a thread, will he ever be able to put his life back together? Or will his own addiction stray him further from the village?
1. She's Getting Married

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 **Chapter 1: She's Getting Married**

He sat there, bottle in hand, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, staring at the clouds above him. He hadn't moved for three hours. Empty bottles rolled around underneath his feet and he occasionally kicked them out of his way. He had lost count and frankly he was happier with it that way.

It had been hours since he stormed out of Lady Tsunade's office, bought a case of alcohol for himself, and made his way to his usual spot to clear his mind of what had gone on. He didn't want to remind himself of the news. It was too nauseating to think of. Drinking himself into oblivion seemed like the perfect idea to get his mind off of it.

The fifth Hokage's words rang through his ears like a gust of wind on a crappy day, "She's getting married."

How could she do that? Did she really love him that much? It had been years….and he had even taken a mission that had him gone for months to get over it.

"She's what!? How could you let this happen?" He shouted at Tsunade. She looked at him puzzled. He definitely had a few drinks in him before he came to her office.

"Me? I don't control the decisions couples make. I may be Hokage but I don't decide who marries who." She said back in her defense.

"This isn't right. She doesn't belong with him." He said as she folded her arms waiting for his rant to continue, "He isn't even from this village. Why did you even tell me?"

She sighed, "You'd get curious seeing a random male you've never seen before in the village. And so what? The Village Hidden in the Clouds is an alley."

"And after the wedding? I guess I'll be working with him?"

"No," She shook her head, "She's applied for citizenship in the Hidden Cloud. If accepted she'll be moving there."

His rage increased as she said that, "She's leaving the Leaf!?" He shouted, "And you're okay with all of this!?"

"Of course I'm upset that she's leaving. She's been an asset to this village and she's a great Shinobi. She's one of the very few I've trained that I can actually be proud of."

"So you're just going to sit by and let her ruin her life?"

"If she's happy, I cannot stand in the way of that. It wouldn't be right."

"She's ruining her life. She's never going to be happy there. She's leaving her friends. She's gonna miss them. She'll never see them again and it'll be a two week walk back here to see them. She's making a huge mistake."

"Is it her making the mistake? Or you Nara?" Lady Tsuande raised her eyebrow at him as he stood there for a moment, just staring at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Look at yourself, you're getting worked up over something you set in motion. You can't live with the consequences of your actions."

"I've accepted the consequences of my actions. I'm just stating facts."

"Is that why you've been drowning in alcohol for years? To live with what you did?" She asked again waiting for his response.

"I'm getting on just fine. Someone should warn her though. The mistakes she's making." His words were so repetitive she wondered how many drinks he exactly had.

"Leave her be Nara. She doesn't want to hear from you. She's happy. She's moved on. Put the past in the past." Lady Tsunade warned as he began walking out the door.

Their conversation went through his head as he got more and more intoxicated. The Hidden Cloud village. It was so far away, he'd never see her again. She wanted it that way. Things never ended, since nothing ever started in the first place. But still, the thought of her marrying someone else sickened him. He took the now empty bottle in his hand and chucked it across the roof top flying over the edge and breaking.


	2. Do You Think He'll Come?

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 **Chapter 2: 'Do you think he'll come?"**

"I cant believe you're getting married Serena." Sakura smiled as she looked in the mirror at her friend. They were trying on her dress to get it fitted properly.

"I know, I'm still trying to make sense of it all. It doesn't seem real." She smiled back at the pink haired girl behind her, "Sometimes I think it's too good to be true."

"Ray is a good guy." Sakura added in to help her friends nerves, "You two will surely be great as a married couple."

"I hope so."

"I mean I could go without him taking you far away from me….but other than that I think he's pretty cool." She laughed. She hated that her friend was leaving to become a member of a different village.

"His entire family is there…they're giving him his own land if we move there instead of here. In a way, it's bittersweet. I don't want to leave, but I also don't want to argue over petty things like this."

"I'm just saying…don't uproot your life for a piece of land. I mean, there's plenty of land in the Leaf village to go around."

Serena laughed, "I know, it's such a dumb reason to move but in a way it's a good excuse to get out of here."

They both stood there in silence staring at the dress. It was traditional white, strapless and went to the floor. There was a train behind her that would be hitting flower petals as she walked down the aisle. The back was like a corset, with lace over top of the entire thing. Her shoes made her look four inches taller, and you could barely see her under the vale.

"I feel like a princess." She laughed to herself, "My personal fairy tale."

"You look beautiful. Honestly I don't know how I'll be able to hold myself together during the ceremony. I'll be a wreck." Sakura said prepping herself for that day.

"Well you have a good three months until it's actually here." Serena breathed calming herself down. As the day got closer she grew more and more anxious about getting married.

Sakura sat outside the dressing room as Serena began to take the dress off with the help of one of the shop associates, "Do you think he'll come?" She asked after a bit of silence passed between them after the woman took her dress into the back.

Serena froze on the other side of the door as she got dressed, "I don't think so," She responded after a moment. Why would she bring him up now? When her anxiety was at it's worst?

"Is his family invited?"

"Of course. We've always been close to the Nara's, it wouldn't be right to not invite them." Serena answered putting her hair into a ponytail again. She opened the door and headed back into the village with her friend, "Man I'm gonna miss the smell of the Ichiraku Ramen every day. They'll definitely need to expand to the Cloud."

"Well one thing is for sure, Naruto would definitely be visiting all the time if he knew you had as good a place as Ichiraku." Sakura laughed

"I could see it now: him knocking on my door, cheesy grin on his face with a huge bowl and giant backpack on his back telling me he's staying for awhile and that he brought dinner."

"At least he'd get out of Hinata's hair for awhile." Sakura chuckled as they both thought of it.

"And invade mine." Serena laughed back. Sakura got silent for a second. She didn't show it much, but her friend leaving effected her more than she let on.

"So you really want to get out of here that badly?" Sakura asked bringing up her friends comment earlier, "Is it worth it?"

"To be away from him?" Serena asked, "Anything would be better than seeing him around everywhere I go. It's a fresh start. A new beginning. No one in the Hidden Cloud village will talk behind my back as I walked by about what happened. No one will know a thing."

Sakura put her head down, "Yeah…I suppose you're right."


	3. The Issues

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 **Chapter 3: The Issues**

It was quiet. His entire house was quiet aside from the sound of a bottle slamming onto the table, and a pop of another one opening. The kitchen light was on and he sat there, staring into space. He looked over at the clock seeing it was only 8am. He put his head back but it quickly shot up at the sound of the front door opening.

She walked in and put her keys down on the counter. They didn't say anything to eachother. She opened the fridge, it was filled with alcohol. She let out a sigh of frustration and slammed it shut, "Could you not drink this early in the morning?"

He groaned, she was such a pain, "Could you not hound me about my decisions?" He shot back at her. All they did was bicker. He didn't even know why they were still together.

"Maybe you should be trying to keep your job instead of sitting here poisoning yourself with alcohol." She said back to him, 'The least you could do is pull your weight instead of moping like a little child."

"You could do the same. Get off my back. All you do is start fights with me. If you don't like it, then leave. It's not like I won't survive."

The last of his words went right through her. What happened to him? Where was all of this anger coming from? She didn't know what to say, her feelings had been genuinely hurt.

"We're married. We're supposed to make it work, don't you remember?" She said back to him.

"Is this what marriage is? Seems pretty lame to me." He scoffed as he opened up another bottle. She took a deep breath getting frustrated at his lack of effort.

"You knew what you signed up for. If you didn't want fights you should never have asked me to begin with Shikamaru." She said sternly, "I'm trying to make this work."

"What's the point?" He asked standing and swaying a bit before getting his footing. He took the empty bottles and put them in the garbage, "This has been over for years, Temari."

She was stunned that he would say that, "Look, I know we've had our problems but to say it's been over for years? Are you serious? I think we we've pretty good these past few years."

"Yeah? We haven't slept together in over a year. We barely talk, we don't even sleep in the same room anymore. You call that good? I don't know what books you've been reading, but it sure isn't good." He fought back to his wife.

"Couples go through rough patches. We can work this out. We just need to address the issues we're having in the relationship." Temari reasoned trying to be the level headed one. She wasn't going to just throw in the towel because things got rough.

"The issues?"

She nodded, "Your drinking is one of them. All you do is wake up, get drunk and sit around. Your job is barely hanging on by a thread. You're lucky Lady Tsunade cares about you otherwise you'd been put out a long time ago."

"So this is all my fault? I'm the problem in this marriage?" He fought back getting angry. She never took responsibility for her actions, "What about you huh? What about how you're always nagging me and getting on my case about the smallest things?"

"I only nag you when you don't listen to me or do something I ask of you. It isn't that bad that I want you to do your end of the relationship."

"Oh please, all you ever nag me about is how you want to have children. Every day you bring it up. And if it's not that it's how I never touch you or show you affection. Why would I want to do those things when I just get whined at about it everday?"

She was getting upset. She didn't want this to be the end of her marriage. She wanted it to work, she loved him more than anything. She was finally happy…well happier.

"Okay, I can work on those things. But that's no reason to throw in the towel and give up."

He looked at her with barely any expression on his face, "I gave up a long time ago." He spoke to her.

"Well, why? Don't you love me? Don't you want this to work out?" He stayed silent, "We can get past the issues we've been having I'm sure. I've seen couples go through worse. My parents went through years of trouble."

"You want to know the real issue?" He asked as she nodded staying quiet. He began walking towards his room as he spoke, "We _never_ should have gotten married."


	4. Lunch & Flowers

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 **Chapter 4: Lunch & Flowers**

Two days had gone by since Serena had her dress fitting. Now, it was time to work on getting the flowers ready. She knew the perfect place to go was Ino's family's shop. They always had the prettiest arrangements.

On her way there she ran into Naruto, "Serena, come have lunch with me, I'll pay!" He insisted as she laughed.

"I can't Naruto, I'm meeting with Ino about my flowers at the wedding." She said as he frowned. He sighed.

"Soon I'll never see you in the village…and I'll have to travel so far just to visit you. We need to hangout as much as possible." He frowned as she felt her heartstrings tugging at her.

"Okay…I'll have lunch. But you better be paying." She laughed as his smile appeared again. She felt terrible for making her friends feel like this. She didn't want to leave them.

"So how long till the wedding again?" He asked as they sat there waiting for their food.

"Did you not read the invitation?"

He giggled, "Well I did, but I sort of lost it." He rubbed the back of his neck and she looked at him disapprovingly.

"Well lucky for you," She began rummaging around in her bag, "I have extras in my bag….for those people who misplace everything."

"Thanks," He chuckled taking it from her and reading it over, 'This is so close!"

"Well yeah…weddings don't take forever…"

"Yeah but I mean…you'll be leaving…forever…"

"Not forever, I'll be back to visit." She protested.

"Until you have a job and kids. Then you'll never be back here." He frowned again as their food was placed in front of them.

"Trust me, I will be back at the Leaf Village. It's my home. The Cloud is just my vacation home. I'll always feel at home here."

He stayed silent for awhile, 'Why do I get the feeling you're so eager to leave because of Shikamaru?" He asked, "I know, you didn't want any of us bringing up…but I'm just being honest."

"It is why I want to leave so bad. I need a fresh start somewhere. Everyone knows what happened between us. It's irritating walking down the road with all eyes on you and people talking about you like you're not there."

"I get that…but the Leaf needs you. You're a great shinobi. I know Sakura and everyone will miss you. Hinata hates when I bring it up." Serena felt herself sinking more and more into a depression as he spoke.

"I'll miss all of you. You're my family."

"Has Kakashi Sensi said anything to you about it?" He asked looking up at her, "Doesn't he get a say in what happens? He's technically you're guardian."

She smirked, "Only until I was 18 Naruto. I'm an adult now. I'll always value his opinion but he can't tell me what to do."

"I wish he could. Then I'd tell him to have you chained here forever. That way no one would take you away."

"I can't be a hostage." She laughed eating.

"Yeah I suppose you're right," He took a few bites before speaking up again, "We'll have to throw a huge going away party for you then. With lots of Ramen!"

"Sounds like a good idea." She smiled finishing her meal, thanking him, and heading to Ino's.

As she got closer she heard banging and shuffling around inside the flower shop. Usually it wasn't that loud unless Ino was yelling at Choji to stop eating. As she got closer the door opened.

" _Get out of here Nara_!" A man yelled, " _And stay out_!" He pushed a body out of the doorway and it stumbled falling into Serena. Ino stood at the doorway with her arms folded. He fell to the ground in front of her as she stood above him. He looked at her with shock and she had her eyebrow raised as he just laid there, not bothering to get up.

Both of them were shell shocked. Neither knew what to say to each other. Shikamaru was drunk and Serena was just stunned he was there. He began to get up, losing his footing and almost falling again when she caught him.

"Are you okay?" She tried to say without stuttering. He smelled like a distillery. He didn't look at her. He just sort of grunted and wiped himself off before releasing her of her grip and walking away.

"Serena!" He heard Ino call from behind him, "I have all the flower arrangements ready to show you for the big day!" She squealed, "Don't worry, that bozo didn't ruin them….like he did everything else."


	5. Look Where it Got Him

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 **Chapter 5: Look Where it Got Him**

"What was all that about?" Serena asked as Ino lead her into the back room, "These are beautiful." She stated looking at them. There was pink roses and white mixed with greenery in a clear vase.

"Thank you, I figured we could put some candles around them when they get onto the tables to brighten it up a little and let the light bounce off the clear vase." Ino suggested as Serena nodded, "And oh that? He was drunk."

"Drunk?" Serena asked. Shikamaru never used to drink, "What was he doing around here then?"

She rolled her eyes, "Trying to get a job. Lady Tsunade finally had enough of him not showing up or showing up intoxicated. He's gonna give the Leaf village a bad name if he keeps that up."

Serena shook her head. She wasn't really interested in looking at the flowers anymore, she wanted to talk about Shikamaru, "What happened to him?"

Ino looked over at Serena with her eyebrow raised, "I can think of one thing…"

"I know…I know…but he got married. Isn't he happy with her?"

Ino shrugged, "I've heard different things. Some say yes, his family says no, that it was a huge mistake. I think everyone is waiting for the day one of them leaves the other."

Serena sighed, "Wow…I was not expecting that…especially from him." She let out a laugh and Ino just looked at her, "I shouldn't be laughing, but it's just that, out of everyone in this village he always had his things in order. His training, his job, his relationship whichever one it might be."

"Yeah…I guess." Ino said slowly. She didn't think it was very funny, more sad than funny. But Serena was her friend also and she didn't want to start a fight, "Oh that reminds me, Shikaku and Yoshino were in here a few days ago…they knew I was seeing you today and asked me to tell you to stop by when you get a chance. They would have asked you themselves, but they knew you've been busy."

"Oh, alright, I'll head over right now. Thanks Ino." She smiled heading to Shikamaru's family's house. She hadn't been there in years. It was hard for her to go there after everything that happened.

It wasn't too far from the flower shop so she got there in no time. She also walked unusually fast. She knocked and waited a few minutes before Yoshino came to the door, "Serena!" She exclaimed, What a surprise!"

"Is this a bad time?" She asked as Yoshino shook her head.

"No, not at all, come in, come in." She motioned as Serena stepped inside taking her shoes off, "Honey, look who stopped by!" She called into the other room.

Shikaku was Shikamaru's twin in the creepiest way. Serena almost didn't want to look at him, "Serena, to what do we owe the pleasure of seeing you?"

"Ino mentioned to me about relaying a message from you two. Something about how you two wanted me to stop by." She answered.

"Oh right, right. Come in, we were just having tea." He motioned as she followed into the living room. She sat across from the couple and it was silent for a few minutes. She felt uncomfortable. She was never here alone, Shikamaru was usually with her.

Noticing how uncomfortable she looked, Yoshino spoke up, "So the wedding is approaching fast isn't it? Do you have everything together?"

"For the most part. Just need to tie up a few loose ends." She answered, "Mostly flowers, food and music."

His mother smiled, "That's wonderful. And I take it Kakashi is walking you down the aisle?"

"Yeah, he wasn't too excited about it, but then again I don't think he ever gets excited about dressing up and attending formal events." She laughed taking a sip of her tea, "You two are still coming, right?"

"Of course, we've watched you grow up, we wouldn't miss it, no matter what happened."

Shikaku sighed, "We weren't going to bring it up…" He said looking at her, "But with the current situation of things…I feel like it's necessary."

Serena nodded, she didn't want to. She had tried pushing it so far out of her head that it was barely in the back of her mind. She prepped herself mentally to have the conversation.

"Shikaku…it's a few months from her wedding…why are you doing this now?" Yoshino asked holding onto her tea.

"It's better we air it out now before she's married and moving away from the Leaf."

"It's fine," Serena nodded trying to ease his mother's worry.

Yoshino nodded and Shikaku began to speak, "It's been five years…he's been married for four…and you're about to get married. Both of you sort of just shut down about the entire thing after it happened. It was never brought up." Serena nodded.

"We feel like you both need to talk about it," Yoshino said, "The baby…before you get married." Serena swallowed hard, "Now we don't blame you…"

"But in a way we do," Shikaku piped up, "The village looked down on both of you very much after that…but they were harder on Shikamaru. He's the man, he was supposed to be the one to take care of something like that. But it was also the fact that you weren't using any form of protection."

"But you never really gave him a chance to take care of it." Yoshino said, "You know Shikamaru…he's a smart guy, you both are very smart. We get you made a mistake and something formed from that mistake…but I don't know if you know the severity of how much it affected him."

Serena took a deep breath, "I don't," She started, "And that is one of my many regrets of the entire thing. Trust me, I never did it to intentionally hurt him." She could feel herself getting upset, "But I was scared. I knew what the village would say if we had a baby out of wedlock…and for being so young. We were only 17. We were barely adults."

Shikaku nodded, "We know. We felt like if we talked to you about it then maybe you could talk to him about it." He said as she raised her eyebrows, "He's in a really bad place."

"How will this even help him?" She asked

"I think if he sees you still care…or are willing to address it. His marriage is not doing well and it shows. His job is tanked and his personal life…well there isn't one."

"We know you have a lot going on…" Yoshino said, "But if you could just please talk to him…you might be the only one he opens up to. He never puts down the bottle. You're sort of our last resort."

Serena nodded again, "Alright. I'll try." She agreed, "But just one question, why did you want to talk about all of this before I got married?"

Shikaku looked up at her, "Because Shikamaru didn't…and look where it got him."


	6. That's Messed Up

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 **Chapter 6: That's Messed Up**

Serena dabbled with the idea of going to Shikamaru's place for weeks. Everytime she went to do it, her anxiety spiked and she chickened out. How would she even start the conversation? Would he even be sober enough to talk about it?

"I think you should do it." Sakura said one night at her place. They were having a girls night since Ray was in the Cloud village until the wedding, Serena's house was the getaway spot.

"I don't know how to approach it."

"Just go with your gut. The least he could do is slam the door in your face."

"That's the part I'm dreading…along with the initial conversation and the aftermath of the entire thing." She ran her fingers through her heading and groaned, "Ugh why did they have to do this to me?"

"They made a good point. Shikamaru shut down after it happened. He married Temari a year later and never delt with it. Look where he is now. It's either regret or guilt or both."

"But that's not me. I'm not gonna let my marriage get tanked because of something that happened five years ago." She protested, "I wish everyone would stop thinking we're the same."

"I mean…you are getting mad about it…"

"Yeah because now it's being brought up two months from my wedding! Like I already don't have enough stress." She said. Sakura was silent, "Fine. To please everyone else I will go talk to him first thing in the morning. Lets hope his wife isn't there."

"She's on a mission I think. I found out from Lady Tsunade, she was ranting about him."

When morning came, Serena got ready and headed over to Shikamaru's house. She didn't have feelings left about it as much as he did. But still, she told his parents she would try. She knocked and looked around at the small amount of people peering out of their house windows to see her. She rolled her eyes as he answered. He looked at her suspiciously.

She looked him over. Of course there was a beer in his hand, "Hope I caught you while you're still sober." She said as he looked at the bottle and then at her, "Can I come in?"

He stepped aside so she could enter his house. It wasn't as clean as it usually was, probably from Temari being away, "What do you want?" His voice was bitter and mean.

She turned to face him, "To talk." She announced looking around again. There were bottles on the kitchen table and counters. She looked back at him, "You know you're killing yourself right?"

He rolled his eyes, 'Look if you're gonna get on my case about it, there's the door." He motioned to it. They didn't say anything to eachother for awhile.

"Where's Temari?"

"Staying at the Sand village for awhile." He answered going and putting his bottle down on the counter and leaning against it. He took out a cigarette and lit it.

"So how have you been?"

"Fantastic." His answers were short and malicious almost. He was doing it on purpose.

"I have a hard time believing that."

"Great." He barely looked at her. It was getting a bit frustrating.

"Did you get my invitation?"

"Yup."

"Well are you coming?"

"Did I send back the RSVP? No, that should have been a clear enough sign right there. Come on, you're not that dumb."

Finally, she snapped, "What the fuck happened to you?" She shouted at him. He looked at her surprised at her tone of voice, "You used to be a good fucking guy and now you're just being an asshole."

He let out a small laugh, "You're really asking me that? Seriously? Do you need it spelled out for you?"

"Look I know it was a lot to swallow but you can't sit here in self pity and let your entire life turn to shit." She spat out at him. It wasn't about them working it out, it was about him getting over it to her now.

"A lot to swallow? You act like it was a small deal. Do you not have any feelings anymore? I mean you must. You're marrying a greedy son of a bitch."

"Leave him out of this."

"Why not? Does he know? Does he know how you slept around a couple times? How you got knocked up at 17 and decided by _yourself_ that you were gonna terminate it? Do you think he'd mind? Look at you differently?"

She just glared at him, "So that's why you're throwing your life away to alcohol? Because of the choices I made? Do I affect you that badly Shikamaru?"

"What you did affects me badly. You threw it away like it was a toy. Like it didn't matter. Like I didn't matter."

"We were 17, the village was already suspicious about us, we almost got caught one time. Don't you remember? They would have been harder on you for having one than they would be on me for terminating it." She said bringing her voice down lower.

"Still…it would have given us a chance." He shot back, "A chance to have a life together. To make it work."

"But now you have this life. With your wife, remember her? The one you've been with for four years? The woman who loves you and has stood by your side through all this shit you're doing to yourself. This self pity party you've created. You can have a chance with her, to make everything happen with her."

"Our marriage was a mistake." His voice got cold and mean again, "I never should have married her. We're not compatible. I don't feel the way I thought I felt about her."

"Then divorce her." Serena said to him. He was surprised again. He was expecting her to say the same things Temari said about making it work, "She doesn't deserve you. She should move on with her life then. Why are you still with her?"

He was silent for a moment and then his face got a little red with anger, "Because I needed someone to get over you with. I thought if I married her you'd realize what we lost and want it back. Sure, I liked her in the beginning but I wasn't in love with her. She was filling your void."

Serena had tears in her eyes as she spoke, she couldn't believe what she was seeing and hearing, "That's messed up," She said feeling a lump in her throat, "You're a messed up guy Shikamaru, you're not the guy I knew and loved. You've turned into a monster of yourself. The hole has been dug so deep I don't even think you know how to get out."

She went to leave but stopped herself. Did she really want to end the conversation like this? She had accomplished nothing. But how could you help someone who didn't want to be saved. He stayed silent, absorbing all of her words.

She turned to him again, "You need help and you need to get out of this marriage. Don't drag a good woman down because you're too busy hating the past."


	7. Don't

**So I recently revised this 4/17/16 & I hope you like it. A couple of the other chapters have been as well.**

 **Chapter 7: Don't**

Nothing she said had really sunken in. The moment she left, the bottle was back in his hand. He didn't have a problem, everyone else did. So he dealt with his feelings differently. What was the big deal? They needed to worry about themselves.

Still, the conversation with Serena went unresolved. He still had so much more to say to her about everything. Instead of her coming to his house, he was going to go to hers. It had been a few days and a lot of alcohol later, he was standing at her door.

When she answered, she sighed in disappointment, "Really?" She asked smelling his new form of cologne. He swayed slightly but kept his balance.

"Our talk wasn't finished. You ran out." He answered, "Can I come in?" He asked as she moved aside letting him in.

He sat across from her and neither of them said a word. She stared at him. He looked so worn down, but so much better than he did at 17. He looked more mature and grown up. The adult version of Shikamaru was starting to grow on her. What was she thinking? She was getting married. She couldn't be gazing at how attractive someone else had gotten. Especially him.

"So, talk." She finally said to break herself out of her daze.

"Do you really love him?" Shikamaru asked

"What?" Serena asked not understanding why he wanted to talk about Ray, "What does this have anything to do with him?"

"What do you even see in him? He's greedy. He's forcing you to leave the Leaf because of his own family's land. How can you love someone like that?"

"I chose to leave the Leaf. I want to get out of here. To get away from you." She said back folding her arms and sitting back.

"Am I really that much of a terrible person to the point you'll marry anyone just to get away from me?"

"I'm leaving you in the past. Or at least trying to." She answered back simply, "And for starters, look at the way you've treated your wife! And all the things you said about her. Do you think that makes you a decent person?"

"Kill me for being honest."

"You're doing a good job at doing that yourself." She sneered back, "If you put this much effort into your own marriage that you're putting into trying to ruin mine, you'd have a good one."

"I'm not ruining it, I'm looking out for you."

"And since when do you give a damn? You should be happy I'm leaving out of all people. No reminder of what I did or anything. A clean slate. For the both of us."

"How can you just push it all away? Did all that time together mean nothing?" He asked in a softer tone.

She sighed, "Of course not. But we ended things. That means we have to move on with our lives. You moved on before I did and now you're asking me if it meant nothing? Ask yourself that question."

"I told you my reasoning. Yours however, I'm still fuzzy with."

"What do you want me to say? That I still love you? That I want to be with you?" She asked, "I'll always love you, but I've moved on. I'm getting married."

"But why to him?"

"He's a good guy. He has a great family-"

"So my family wasn't great?"

"Stop taking everything so personally. In a perfect world I would have loved to be apart of your family. But it didn't work out that way." She shot back getting frustrated, "Ray can provide for me and I enjoy being around him."

"I could have done all of that!" He shouted, "Don't you get it!? I never would have done any of this shit if we were together! I'd have my life together!" He stood up as he continued yelling, "You're focusing on how I am now, but what about how I was then? You said yourself I was a great guy."

She stood up to be eye level with him, although she was a few inches shorter, "How do we know that? How do we know you wouldn't have turned out like this anyway? We don't. But we chose our paths. You need to get over me already! It's not going to help you in any way possible."

" I can't get over you! Don't you think I've tried!?" He shouted, "It should have been you! It always should have been you!"

She didn't want to hear what he had to say anymore. She was beginning to feel some type of way and it wasn't a good one. All those feelings slowly started coming back into her and she wanted to puke.

"Don't say that," She said calmly.

"Why not? It's the truth! Why can't you handle the truth!?"

"Because I don't want to end up telling you the same thing!" She snapped, "Don't _you_ see? I'm taking the steps you took four years ago. I don't want to wake up with regret everyday like you do. I don't want to end up wishing I was with someone else and not being able to get over them. Do you get it? I don't want to turn into _you_."

He knew at that moment she was her most fragile. To hear her say all that hurt him inside. She feared turning into what he already had become. He walked over to her and could see the small amount of tears forming in her eyes. He put his head against hers and went to kiss her.

The next morning Serena woke up, replaying the crazy dream she had. She stretched and yawned feeling something next to her. She looked over and her eyes got wide. Her heart stopped beating for a minute as she was staring at Shikamaru, sound asleep, naked in her bed beside her.

"Oh my God," She said whipping the blankets off of her and getting dressed. She could barely find all her clothes that had been thrown around her house. She thought it all had been a dream. There was a grunt from behind her along with a loud yawn. She turned around.

Shikamaru stood in the doorway of her bedroom, shirtless with his one eyebrow raised, "Honestly, I don't know what to say."

"This is not happening. I cheated on Ray, oh my God." She said to more herself than to him, "How could I have done this? How stupid could I have been?"

Shikamaru shrugged, he felt a bit of pride knowing he was the one to help her cheat, not that she purposely wanted to. But still, it made his ego a bit bigger, "You're not married yet, so it technically doesn't count." She glared at him but didn't say anything. It didn't change the fact she slept with him.

She put her hand on her forehead closing her eyes to figure out how she could explain this. Shikamaru walked over, putting his head near hers, trying to at least get a kiss out of it. She moved her head and spoke again, "Don't." She replied as he backed away, "Don't do this to me. I'm happy." The tears began to fall, "Don't screw this up for me. Please."

"You just cheated on your fiancé and you're telling me not to screw it up? You did it yourself." He shot back putting his shirt on.

"Stop saying it! It was mistake, we'll act like it never happened. _Never_ talk about it." She growled at him as he finished dressing.

He headed to the door but stopped, "You wanna the messed up thing in this entire situation?" He asked as she looked at him.

"What?" She asked wiping her eyes.

"You never said once that you loved him…or that you were in love with him…but you said you loved me all night." She went to open her mouth but nothing came out. He slowly shut the door and headed down the road.


	8. You Are A Drunk

**This one has a few small changes as well. Leave a review!**

 **Chapter 8: You are a Drunk**

For the next couple of days, Shikamaru thought about everything Serena had said during both conversations. Temari was a good person and he knew someone would make her really happy, it just wasn't going to be him. She sent word that she would stay away a little longer in the Sand in order for him to be fully confident in his decision. She also needed time to deal with it all. Her marriage of four years was ending.

He thought a lot about the past issues they talked about. It devastated him at the time. He didn't know how to deal with it. She didn't even consult him on the issue. She ran to the Hidden Rain village and had it done so no one would find out. Out of spite, Shikamaru told everyone. They looked down on her so much she went into a depression. She kept to herself and barely went outside. He knew what people were saying about him, but he didn't care at that point. He was being spiteful.

She had moved on. And he didn't know how to deal with it all. He still had a spot for her in his heart and she was now going to be villages away…with someone who wasn't him. Her words kept ringing in his ears ' _I don't want to turn into you…..Don't screw this up for me…please'_.

But they had slept together? Doesn't that mean anything to her? She kept telling him all night that she was in love with him. Did she just forget all of that? He didn't. The touch of her skin, the chemistry between the two of them. It made him long for her even more.

Choji, his childhood best friend, had been invited over for the first time in a long time by Shikamaru. It had been a while since the two had hungout. Choji backed off once Shikamaru began heavily drinking.

"I don't know how to stop." Shikamaru said while they were sitting there. He needed to vent to someone, "If I don't have the bottle in my hand, I freak."

Choji had been quiet through his entire rant about Temari, Serena and everything he had been through with each…except for the incident a couple nights prior. Now it was his turn to speak, "Enter the program at the medical center."

"And label myself as a drunk? No way. Then they'll never let me have my job back."

"If you haven't noticed…you are a drunk." Choji pointed out, "Look, you're one of my good friends. But it sounds like Serena is right. You need help."

"I was afraid of you saying that." He said rubbing his face with both of his hands, "God, I am such a fuck up. I said so many things to her and Temari. Temari's my wife and I treated her so poorly."

"You need to get over Serena dude. It's eating you alive. It's ruined one marriage, what happens if you get married again?"

"I'm never getting married again. I'll be lucky if anyone even finds interest in me after all of this."

"Is this the first day you've been sober?" Choji asked noticing his bouncing leg across from him.

He nodded, "Yes. I'm bugging out Choji, I don't know what to do. Nothing makes me feel sane enough to not have it in my hand. And the thought of her getting married just makes me want to drink even more."

"Speaking of that…are you going?" Choji asked

"No way. Are you?"

Choji nodded, "Yeah…"

He flung his head back and let out a frustrated groan, "I feel sick thinking about it. The first time I talked to her in five years and I wasn't even drunk the first time but I was an asshole. I swear, it's like she's the only one who kept me sane."

"You have a lot of demons to sort out. I would suggest something but it would in no way be a good idea."

"Tell me, I need all the help I can get."

"Serena worked as a medical ninja….right?" Choji asked as Shikamaru nodded, "So she'd have a lot of experience in these types of situations…I'm just saying…if you asked…"

"No, no way."

"Why not? It's the only thing that would be of use."

"She's getting married and then leaving."

"Which is the exact reason she's the best candidate. Look, put your feelings about her aside and look at the bigger picture. She can help you without anyone knowing. She doesn't have to report to anyone and you won't see her after it."

"It's not a good idea. After that fight we had, she wouldn't even give me the shirt off her back if I needed it."

"I'll talk to her."

"Absolutely not." Serena scoffed walking back and forth from her room to the living room, "I would in no way be of use to him."

Choji groaned, "Please! You're the only hope we have."

"Just check him into the medical center. It's not that big of a deal. Plenty of shinobi went and they were still respected in the village."

"He refuses. He wants everything lowkey."

Serena stopped what she was doing and her tone got softer, "I can't be in the same room with him."

Choji thought about it for a second, "You're afraid of cheating on Ray aren't you?" She was silent, "I thought you were over Shikamaru?"

"I thought I was!" She said, "I don't know Choji, after talking to him that day…it's just a flood of emotions coming back and I don't know how to stop them." She left out the part of them sleeping together.

"I can't begin to understand what you both are feeling…but I'm worried about him. He's filing for divorce and once that's over he'll have no one…besides me. But he needs help. I would really appreciate it."

She sat there for a moment pondering it, "He really won't go to the medical center?" Choji shook his head, "Alright. I'll see. I'll talk to him about it."


	9. Forget I Said That

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 **Chapter 9: Forget I Said That**

She never did it. She didn't want to do it. Shikamaru wasn't her problem anymore and he should have sucked it up and gotten the help he needed. She focused on tying up the loose ends for her wedding. Plus, she wanted to get rid of the emotions that forced their way back as quick as possible. She needed to forget what happened that night.

"Do I have to wear a suit?" Kakashi complained as they sat at his table for dinner. It had been awhile since they just hungout.

"Yes," Serena groaned rubbing her face, "For the ten thousandth time."

He groaned, "I find they always make me itchy."

"I find that you're full of it." She smirked back, "I can't wait till it's all over honestly. The stress of planning it by myself and then having to pack up and move. It's exhausting."

Kakashi was silent for a moment and Serena stopped eating when it got increasingly noticeable, "Don't you think it's odd that he isn't around more?"

"The Hidden Cloud is a good distance away. He has work to do there. He has to get the house in order. It's not like his sitting around doing nothing."

"I just think it's odd that I met him a few times, you got engaged and then he just vanished. I know I'm a tough person to get approval from but it just seems like there isn't much effort there."

"I don't know…I know he knows a lot of people here don't like that he's 'stealing' me from the village…so that could be why."

"Well, they always expected you to marry someone from the Leaf village that's why. They've watched you grow up, they don't want to see you with someone they don't know."

"I swear if you say Shikamaru's name I will gut you." She said pointing her chopsticks at him. He laughed, "I'm not kidding."

"You're so quick to assume…but yes that is who I was talking about."

"It's who everyone is talking about. The sooner I get out of here and not hear his name the better." She groaned.

"You don't still have feelings for him do you?"

She raised her eyebrow at him, "You want to divulge into the feelings conversation? After all these years of avoiding it?"

He put his hands up in defense and laughed, "I just want to make sure you're doing what your heart wants. "

"Why is everyone so against this? I feel like they're just showing up because they'll feel bad if they don't."

He frowned, "I don't want you to leave. If I had it my way, you'd be chained up forever and not leave."

"You've been hanging around Naruto too much." Serena chuckled as she continued to eat, "It's not like I won't be back to visit. They act like it's a forever thing."

"Put it into perspective. These people are going from seeing you grow up and see you everyday to not seeing you very much at all. They won't get to see the children you raise…watch you grow up into a mature adult. We're a big family. It's like losing one of our own."

She sat there for a moment, "Thanks for making me feel depressed."

He laughed again to lighten the mood, "Sorry, just being honest with you. And honestly if Shikamaru wasn't in the spot he's in…I'd be pushing for you to reconsider giving him another chance."

She sat there for a moment and then looked at him, "Honestly…I would." She said it without realizing it and once she had Kakashi was already looking at her, "Oh my God…forget I said that."

"I'm afraid I can't." He said picking at his food, "Seriously, is there anything going on with you two? I heard you went by his house…and then a few days later he was at yours…"

"No," She said quickly as her heart began to race, 'I went there to talk to him on behalf of his parents. He showed up at my place to rehash everything and talk about Ray. He's obsessed with trying to ruin my marriage, before it's even started! And he says he's 'looking out for me' when he's really being an asshole."

"Did he ever beg, plead for you to come back to him?" Kakashi asked

"Well no..." Serena said slowly trying to figure out why he would ask that. It seemed like he was on Shikamaru's side more than hers. But he would be if he knew what happened.

He looked at her, "Then why assume he's being an asshole? Maybe he really is looking out for you."

"I bet he's just harping on the fact that I never said I loved Ray while I was talking to him. God, he's such a little worm."

"Well…you haven't."

"Yes I have, I've said it before."

"To who? I've never heard it."

She went to open her mouth again to say her answer but couldn't think of one person she had said it to. Were they right? She didn't say anything and Kakashi just looked at her.


	10. The Good of the Village

**Hope you like this! Let me know your thoughts! [:**

 **Chapter 10: The Good of the Village**

It was 4am when Serena heard banging at her door. She yawned getting out of bed, turning on a light and heading to open the door while yawning again. It was dark outside and she was squinting since she was still asleep in her mind.

"T-Temari?" She asked yawning again. She noticed her blonde ponytails in the light coming from the side street light, "Is everything okay?"

"I needed someone to talk to…and you're the first person I thought of." She answered. Serena could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Okay, yeah, come on in." She said moving aside. Temari walked in and sat down on the couch, "Do you want anything to drink or eat?"

"No, thank you though." She answered. There was a bag on her side and she didn't take it off. Serena made herself some tea and sat down across from her.

"What's going on?"

Temari sighed. It looked like she had been up for days, "It's Shikamaru. I don't know who else to turn to…and I know you two dated in the past, so you sort of know him better than his friends." Serena nodded, "He filed for divorce. I don't know what's going on with him."

Serena knew, but did she really want to say it? She took a sip of her tea, "He's in a pretty bad spot. I've never seen this side of him."

"He was never like this when you two dated?"

"Honestly?" She asked as the other woman nodded, "No, the complete opposite in fact. He was a great guy and I'm sure you saw that side of him in the beginning."

"I did, and then it slowly turned into what he is now. It's like I woke up one morning and the person I married wasn't there anymore."

Serena's heart went out to Temari. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve everything that he was putting her through. She stuck by his side for four years and this is how he repaid her? Alcoholism and divorce papers. She felt uncomfortable though, Shikamaru was still married and they had slept together. Now his wife was sitting in her living room talking to her about everything.

"I know what you mean," She answered talking about herself. Sometimes she didn't know who she was looking at half the time.

"I just don't know what to do. That's why I came so early, I didn't want anyone seeing and then word getting back to him."

"Well I won't tell him," She promised, "But truthfully, I think you should leave him," She gripped her tea tighter, "You don't deserve that. Shikamaru can be very spiteful, he did it to me in the past. You're a wonderful person and you'll make someone so happy. You won't wake up every morning feeling down because of who you're married to. He won't wear you down anymore."

She began to cry and it was the one thing Serena had hoped wouldn't happen, "But I love him. I know it's so drawn out but it's true. I keep thinking he'll change….but his father keeps telling me just leave, that's for the best. I thought he'd be on our side…help us fix our marriage. But he says it's just better for the entire village if we just pull the plug….something about shame on our families or whatever."

It was at that moment Serena saw a mirror image of herself almost….and it terrified her.

 _Flashback_

 _"You can't keep it! You're only 17!" The man yelled at Serena as she sat there, crying and pleading with him, "What will the village think?"_

 _"I don't care about what the village thinks!" She shouted back. They were in the Hidden Rain village waiting to have the procedure. She was sitting on the table in the gown, trying to get him to reconsider._

 _"How can you even say that? Do you not care about your reputation as a shinobi? How people will react to him?"_

 _"Of course I care about what they'll think of him, but we'll make it work."_

 _"Do you even know if he wants it? You didn't even tell him. How do you know everything will work out and you won't just end up a single parent?"_

 _"You know him better than anyone, how could you not answer those questions?" She asked trying to catch her breath from crying so hard._

 _"The relationship I have with him is different than the one he has with you. If you proceed with this you'll be giving not only yourself a bad name, but for the entire village. A child out of wedlock….and at that age."_

 _"And how do you think he'll react? When he finds out you've forced me to do this!" She shouted at him._

 _"You're really going to tell him? After you made me swear to never tell him…you're willing to do all of that? Break up an entire clan over something? How do think the clan will accept it once it's been born?"_

 _"This isn't fair. He doesn't even get a say!? I thought I could trust you! I thought you would help us!"_

 _"I'm helping you both not make a big mistake. Its for the good of the village. No will have to know. And if you decided to tell him, tread lightly. You'll bring so much shame onto my family as well as Kakashi."_

 _"But I love him! And he loves me! We're meant to be together!" She cried as the doctor came in._

 _"Are we all ready Shikaku?"_

 _He nodded as Serena began to squirm and change her mind. She didn't want to do this anymore, she wasn't gonna go through with it. He held her arms down and two nurses came in to help keep her legs steady. She screamed and screamed the entire time but no one seemed to care. It's for the good of the village._

 _End Flashback_

For a minute she felt sick. She had pushed that memory so far out of her head she had almost forgotten that it was Shikamaru's dad who forced her to do it and yet she still met with them. She was inviting him to her wedding…knowing he was the one behind it. But she had to bear all the blame. She thought she could trust him…he was blood related to them. But he only looked out for his family…and their reputation.

There was never any way she could face Shikamaru. She tried to end things but he just always wanted to work it out. So she told him her decision. The way he looked when she told him broke her heart, but she couldn't tell him it was his dad who made the decision for them. She never told anyone…except Sakura. After it happened she couldn't keep it all in, the depression and guilt was eating at her.

"Serena? Are you alright?" Temari asked wiping her eyes. Serena looked at her.

"What? Oh yeah I'm sorry," She apologized, "Trust me, leaving someone when you still love them is hard. Harder than anything you'll ever do. But if you know it's for the best…for both of you…then you just have to bite the bullet. It'll hurt for awhile…but one day you'll wake up and that hurt will be gone. You'll be able to live your life again."

"And what if the feelings and hurt come back? How do you deal with it then?" Temari asked as Serena finished her tea and put the cup on the coffee table.

"I don't know…" She said slowly, "I haven't gotten through that part yet."


	11. The Appointment

**Please please please leave a review! Thanks so much! [:**

 **Chapter 11: The Appointment**

Shikamaru sat there waiting for his appointment. It was at 12:15 and the clock couldn't have gone any slower. He bounced his leg watching the people walk by, looking at him with weird expressions. He knew it was a bad idea to come here.

"Next!" He heard from the small office door. He got up and walked in, sitting down in the chair across from the desk. The girl looked up, "Shikamaru….uh…"

"Sakura? Really? Man, what a drag." He groaned, "What are you doing here?"

"I work here…it's my job." She answered, "I'm assuming you want to check yourself in for some rehabilitation purposes?"

"Yeah," He shrugged, "I guess."

"If you're not gonna be 100% serious I'm not helping you."

"Yes, I need help." He rephrased as she nodded.

"Okay, well we have one for 30 days. Start with this and then we'll take it from there. It's an outpatient program. Is that okay?"

"That's fine." He answered.

"Now you'll want someone to stay with you during this, that way they can empty out the house of any alcohol you may have and always help you not relapse." He just looked at her, "Maybe ask Choji. Meetings are everyday at 10am, don't be late and don't show up intoxicated."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, I have to take your vitals and some blood." She answered getting up and leading him into the medical room, "So, what made you decide to get help?"

"You really have to ask that?" He answered. Sakura knew who he was talking about. She was always team Shikamaru but could never express that. Serena already thought everyone was against her, "Don't tell her I said that."

"I bet what she said wasn't pretty." Sakura laughed

"It wasn't. But what I said to her wasn't either. I was pretty harsh on her." He explained, "I just hate who she's getting married to. Ugh, he's such a greedy son of a bitch. He doesn't deserve her and he's dragging her to the Hidden Cloud."

She shrugged, "I know. But I can't say that. The entire village is against it and yet they're still going. She needs someone in her corner."

"What about Kakakshi?"

"Please, he's holding out hope for the two of you. He told her that over dinner apparently. She was pretty ticked about it."

"You've talked to her?"

She frowned, "Not in a couple days, which is odd but I'm assuming she's busy. I haven't even seen her around the village...who knows if she's even here anymore."

"We made a good couple. Of course the village would want us back together." He said going back to the original topic.

"Until you let your life and marriage go to shit, not to mention you trashed her to the entire village after what happened."

"Look I've done some things I'm not proud of alright?" He said getting quiet again, "Hopefully one day I'll be able to tell her I'm sorry…sober."

"Well…this is a good start," Sakura replied, "Not to get personal…but why is it she can make you see the destruction you've caused…but your own wife can't?"

Shikamaru sighed, "Temari shut down after everything started. She would skate around the issues….until these last couple of months. She started addressing it every day. By that time, it was too late. I was already taking myself out of the marriage. Serena hadn't spoken to me in five years and she laid it all out, plain and to the point. She didn't care."

"She does have a way of doing that. She's a fighter." Sakura added

"That's what I love about her. I mean, I love everything about her. She's an amazing person that I wish I could have held on to. But I let my own feelings get in the way in the long run."

"Everyone does," She said finishing up with the blood work, "You're all set."

"Thanks." He said getting up, "Can you do me a favor? Please don't tell her I said any of this?"

"Why not?" She asked sitting back at her desk. She thought he would want her to tell Serena.

Shikamaru took a deep breath, "She's happy. If this guy makes her happy, I shouldn't be screwing it up for her."

As he left Sakura let out a sigh of disbelief. She wasn't sure how long Shikamaru was sober, but what he had just said sounded a lot like something the old Shikamaru would have said. Was he coming to his senses finally?


	12. Sakura's House

**Thank you for all your reviews! It means a lot and it keeps me going with the story. Make sure to leave your thoughts! [:**

 **Chapter 12: Sakura's House**

After work, Sakura called a meeting with a couple friends of the group at her house. Naruto, Hinata, Choji, Ino and Sasuke were all waiting for her by the time she got there.

"Sakura, finally!" Naruto exclaimed, "What's this about? Where is Serena?"

"She's not here genius, she's the reason I wanted to talk to all of you." Sakura answered putting her stuff down and joining the group, "Look, we all know she's leaving in less than a month. Do any of you even like Ray?"

There was murmuring around the group and finally Ino spoke up, "I don't think I've ever met him to be honest. All the planning she's done has been without him. I've heard rumors about him though."

"Yeah, I've never really seem him around either. Maybe when they first started dating," Hinata said softly, "I think she's making a big mistake."

"Wait, backtracking a minute," Naruto said, "What rumors are you talking about Ino? Because I heard rumors too."

"Well, when I was out near the Hidden Grass village I heard them talking about a wealthy family in the Hidden Cloud. They didn't have a lot of nice things to say about the son. I asked around and they said the son, Ray, was a pretty malicious guy. He's selfish and greedy. They even heard that he was engaged once before and his fiancé mysteriously disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Sakura asked, "Like he killed her?"

Ino shrugged, "I don't know, I don't know how reliable it is. But whoever he is, I don't think he's been completely honest with our friend. I'm scared she's gonna be in for a rude awakening once she's settled into the Cloud."

"Those are worse than the ones I heard," Naruto said, "All I heard was that he was greedy. His family threatened to disown him if he moved here. I guess he really wants that fortune and land."

"He's all wrong for her!" Choji shouted. He was never one to get loud and it took everyone for surprise. His voice got calmer, "Look, I know you're all against him…but Shikamaru was the best thing for her. They were really good for each other."

"Shikamaru? That drunk?" Ino scoffed, "He can't even keep his own marriage together, and you want to set our friend back up with him? She'll be more unhappy in that relationship than she will be in the Cloud village."

"He's trying to get his life back together. So his marriage with Temari didn't work out, those things happen. But he's trying."

"Trying? He ruined his own marriage, it didn't just 'not work out'," Ino shot back, "He ruined things in his relationship with Serena too. He's only 'trying' because she's moving on."

Sakura cleared her throat bringing the attention back to her, "Actually, Choji is right. Shikamaru was at the medical center today. He checked into the outpatient program. We had a really good talk and he asked me to tell her the things he said. Said he didn't want to screw things up for her. I don't know, maybe it's an act but it sounded sincere."

"See? I'm not the only one who thinks he's changing." Choji said as Ino folded her arms.

"Okay, let's say he is changing, it doesn't change what he's done. Look how he treated his wife and ex girlfriend back then. It's going to take more than checking into a program to trust him."

"Aren't we all forgetting something?" Sasuke spoke up, "Wasn't it Serena who terminated the pregnancy without Shikamaru's input? He isn't the one who ruined it although his actions favor it. She was the one who chose to do it. That would mess anyone up. It can't all be on him."

"She was trying to save his reputation," Hinata said getting slightly louder, "It may not have been conventional but she was thinking what was best."

"Conventional?" Choji asked, "There was nothing conventional about it! She killed my friend inside. He was never the same after that."

"Like he really would have been able to take care of a child at 17. Like either of them would be! She made the right call!" Ino shouted him.

"She made the selfish call, come on Ino you said so yourself when you found out!" Choji shouted back.

"At first I thought that because I was young and couldn't image doing it. But looking back now I realize she made the right decision. Look at all the growing up we still had to do. Who knows if they would have even made it together after that. It could have torn them apart."

"Her decision tore them apart." Choji spat back, "They had a better chance of staying together with the child than not having it."

"Will you both just stop it!" Sakura yelled, "It's neither one of their faults." Everyone was confused, "I wasn't supposed to say anything because I swore I wouldn't. I just can't stand everyone bickering over who they think was right and wrong. She wanted to keep it. Well at first she didn't but once she got to the Hidden Rain she changed her mind."

"Then what happened?" Naruto asked, 'She didn't come back with a baby inside her anymore."

"When she found out she went to his parents. His dad specifically because she thought she could trust him. She thought he could help them or guide them to how to handle it in the long run. He suggested the Hidden Rain and she went with it because at the time she thought it was the right thing to do. She changed her mind once she got there but he kept saying it was for the good of the village and that they'd bring so much shame to the village. He helped hold her down to get it done."

The group was silent. They couldn't believe what they were hearing, "And he doesn't know?" Ino asked softly. Sakura shook her head, "That's didn't she tell him?"

"His dad told her it would break up the clan. She couldn't face him after that, knowing what he didn't know. That's why she eventually told him she decided on her own, so he would just leave. Trust me….she didn't do this to be selfish or malicious. It killed her inside. Shikamaru might not be the same anymore, but neither is she."

"Damn…they would have a five year old…they would probably be married too. Everything would have been so much different. For all of us." Ino said in disbelief. No one said anything after, just silently agreed.


	13. Ray

**Leave a review with your thoughts! [:**

 **Chapter 13: Ray**

Ray was in the village to visit. He really wanted to check up on his bride and make sure everything was going smoothly. He didn't want anyone getting in the way. He had paid a couple of his own guys to hangout in the village doing 'volunteer' work but they were really spying on Serena. They had told him about her lunch with Naruto and the two interactions with Shikamaru.

Ray was about 5 foot, 9 inches tall. Shorter than Shikamaru but taller than Serena. He had dark brown hair and green eyes. His face was slightly oval with a bit of a point at his chin, which was only noticeable because of how thin he was. He was very poised and didn't really relax much. He liked order and consistency in his life. Everything had to be planned and everything had to go according to that plan otherwise he'd freak.

It couldn't have been a worse time for him to come. Serena was trying to deal with the memories coming back full force and she couldn't let him see it. He would look at her differently if he knew what happened between her and Shikamaru five years ago.

"I was thinking we could go to that restaurant right outside the village and then take a walk by that lake afterwards." He suggested as they sat around her house.

"I'm not really in the mood to go out. I'd be fine with some Ichiraku Ramen and some friends." She answered, "I'll see if Sakura and Sasuke wanna hangout."

Ray wasn't too fond of her friends. He didn't even want them coming to the wedding. He found them obnoxious and immature. His family was traveling to see him get married, he didn't want them embarrassing him.

He stayed silent and Serena noticed, "What? Don't you want to hangout with them?"

"I was sort of hoping we could just hang out. I came all this way to see you and I'm not staying for very long, so why waste it with those people?"

"Those people?" She asked, "I would think you'd want to get to know my friends. I grew up with them and you are taking me from them in a few weeks."

He stiffened and Serena knew what was coming, "So now I'm the one being blamed for you moving? Do you want to paint me out to be the bad guy here?"

"Of course not, they just don't ever believe me when I tell them it's my decision too." She laughed brushing it off.

"Why would you want friends like that?" He asked sternly, "If they never believe anything you say to them and continuously point the finger at someone who makes you happy."

"No, no I didn't mean it like that-"

He put his hand up to silence her, "It's fine. Don't bother explaining. I've moved on from the topic anyway."

"Okay," Serena almost mouthed to herself as she went into her room to straighten up. She didn't like when he got like this. The smallest things made him agitated. She sat on her bed for a minute and then decided she was going out with her friends. Just because Ray didn't want to hangout with them didn't mean she didn't.

"Where are you going?" He asked as she walked out and began putting her shoes on.

"Out with my friends. I need to spend as much time as possible with them." She answered not looking at him. It angered him. Why would she want to hang out with them when she hadn't seen him in weeks? He got up.

"No, no I came all of this way to see you. You're not going out with them." He demanded as she stood up and looked at him.

"Yes I am, you can't dictate what I do." She shot back grabbing her jacket.

"I'm going to be your husband soon, I can tell you what to do, who to talk to, what to wear and when to talk if I want to," The look in his eye was one Serena had never seen before. It made her uneasy but she figured he was just tired from the long travel.

"That isn't how marriage works," She said back to him. He grabbed her arm as she went to leave, "Let go. I'll be back in a few hours."

"I said no," His voice cut through her as he pulled her back towards him, "Don't you want to hangout with me?"

"Yes but I also want to hang out with my friends. I'll have forever with you. I only have a couple weeks left with them." She responded.

"Or is it so that you can go over to Shikamaru's house?" He asked. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked panic stricken.

"How do you know-"

"A couple of my friends were in the village for work around here. They saw you go to his house and then he came here. Are you cheating on me?"

"What? No, no it wasn't like that." She shook her head, "His parents asked me to talk to him. It was nothing."

Ray didn't believe her. He knew there was something going on. He couldn't let it get in the way of his plan, "Doesn't matter. You're not going out with them." She went to tug her arm away and leave but he yanked her back so hard she slipped from his grip and hit the side of her head on the counter. She looked up at him, horrified, "Serena…I'm so sorry…I don't know what got into me I'm sorry please,"

She got up and looked at him. This was not the man she met a year ago. He was definitely not who she thought he was. Were there things about Ray she didn't know? Who was she marrying?

 **SIDENOTE: Okay, so I decided to make Ray a bad guy because I feel like it just keeps the story going instead of having this picture perfect relationship. I personally like to twist storylines and keep the readers on their toes. Plus, who doesn't love a twisted love story? (Hence Shikamaru's recovery? Haha & no I'm not giving anything away, just something to think about [:)**


	14. He Was Drinking

**PLEASE READ!: Okay, so I REVISED chapter 7 (on 4/17/16) which has IMPORTANT information about how the rest of this story plays out. SO GO BACK AND READ IT BEFORE YOU READ THIS! Otherwise you'll be confused or not know what is going on. ALSO ch, 8 ,9, and 10 had minimal changes made to fit what happened in chapter 7. BUT chapter 7 is a MUST to REREAD. & Thank you so much for everyone who has been reading this and who favorited/follows the story. It means so much to me! Leave a review with your thoughts! [:**

 **Chapter 14: He Was Drinking**

Serena left and gave herself a moment to calm down. The entire situation had her shaken up. Her friends were probably hanging out near the lake and picnic benches. She noticed Sakura's pink hair and Sasuke next to her. Naruto was trying to feed ducks that were ignoring him as Hinata stood next to him laughing.

She walked up to them and Sakura noticed her first, "Hey!" She waved smiling. It quickly disappeared when she saw her friends face, "What is that?"

"What is what?" She asked sitting next to Sakura. Sasuke peered over.

"That huge bruise on the left side of your forehead." Sasuke pointed raising his eyebrow. He wasn't very fond of Ray and this heightened his suspicion.

"Oh, did it really bruise?" Serena asked as they nodded, "Ray and I got into a little tiff, it was nothing."

Hinata walked over mid-conversation, "Sure doesn't look like nothing," She said in her soft, high pitched voice, "That's a really dark bruise for something that's nothing."

Naruto ran up at seeing Serena but came to a halt when he noticed her face, "What the hell!?" He shouted. Choji and Shikamaru were walking by when they heard him yelling, "What the hell happened to your face?! Was it that guy you're marrying!? Did he do this to you!?"

Both boys ran over to the group, "What's going on?" Choji asked. Shikamaru stayed silent. He knew he wasn't a fan favorite right now. Sasuke moved over so they both could join the circling surrounding Serena.

"Naurto, I'm fine." She assured him, "Seriously there's nothing to worry."

When Shikamaru looked at her he was shocked. The moment he saw the left side of her forehead he knew there was something wrong with this Ray guy. Who puts their hands on a woman? Let alone the woman he's marrying. His eyes said it all, anger.

"Serena you are not fine, come on I'm taking you to the medical center." Naruto huffed grabbing her arm and trying to get her to come with him.

"Naruto, I'm fine!" She shouted at him, "Seriously," She said calmer, "Just let it go okay?"

He released her arm from his grip and got quiet. No one knew what to say after that. They wanted to keep talking about it and how it happened. She wasn't very descriptive. Sakura noticed Shikamaru and motioned for him to say something to her. He looked back at her and shrugged.

"Great, now it's awkward. If I wanted an awkward night I would have stayed at home with Ray."

"He's still here?" Sakura asked. Serena nodded, "Why didn't he come with you?"

She shrugged, "Wanted it to be just the two of us," Shikamaru's stomach turned as she said that, "But I didn't want to do that. I'll see him everyday. I only get a few more weeks with you guys." She glanced at Shikamaru and they made slight eye contact.

There it was again. Those feelings when she looked into his eyes. Her stomach filled with butterflies and she could feel herself getting anxious. _Say_ _something_ , she thought, _just_ _say_ _anything_. He stayed quiet and she looked away quickly.

"I hope we don't see you like that everyday…" Naruto said softly. He was genuinely upset about it. Serena was like a sister to him. He would kill anyone who hurt her. She looked at him with sadness and pulled him into a hug.

Two weeks later

No one in the group saw Serena after that. They kept what they saw to themselves. Sakura kept growing increasingly worried and it was all Shikamaru could talk about at his meetings with her. Naruto kept a close watch on her place and Hinata used her Byakugan to see if anyone was in the house, but never saw anyone during the times they checked. Sasuke kept to his usual routine, checking to see if anyone said anything about her.

"What if he kills her?" Sakura asked with tears in her eyes during their meeting. Shikamaru's head shot up. They had finally gotten off the topic and she brought it back up again. It was all they could think about.

"Don't say something like that!" He half shouted getting worried, 'I'm sure she's fine. She can handle herself." But even he had to admit, he was thinking the same thing.

"If he was that mad that she went out with us, what do you think he did to her when she went home? No one has seen or heard from her in over a week. The wedding is in a week almost!"

"I know." Shikamaru said trying to remain calm, 'I think I'm gonna go."

"Are you serious?" Sakura asked feeling herself getting happy. She really wanted Serena to get back together with him. Or at least dump Ray.

Shikamaru nodded, "Yeah. I love her and care about her a lot. It seems only right that I attend her wedding…even if I am against it."

"Wow Shikamaru…I never thought I would hear those words come out of your mouth. I'm proud of you."

"You're just saying that."

"No I'm serious," Sakura answered firmly, "Compared to like a week ago, you've improved. I'm proud of you for realizing your issues and getting help. And for being the bigger person and accepting Serena's situation."

He shrugged, "Thanks, but she's right. I can't keep throwing myself a pity party."

Once the meeting was over he headed to meet Choji for a late lunch and then they hung out around the village. Choji had helped clean out all of the alcohol from Shikamaru's place and checked on him periodically since he couldn't live with him. When he got back to his house he just laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. Around 2am there was a persistent knock at his door.

He got up walking over, not bothering to put a shirt on and opening it, "Serena?" He asked stunned. She had her jacket hood up and he moved aside so she could come in, "Is everything okay? It's so late, isn't Ray at your house?"

"Choji isn't here, is he?" She asked with a sound of congestion in her voice. Was she crying? Her body was trembling noticeably whether he looked at her or not.

"No, it's just me. Why? Do you need him?" He asked as she nodded her head no. She was shaking so bad as she lifted up her hands and took off the hood. His jaw dropped, "What the?"

She closed her eyes tightly and all he could do was stare. He had laid his hands on her…and roughly. There were bruises on her face and he was sure there were more on her arms. Tears fell down her face, "I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go this late..."

"No, no it's fine," Shikamaru answered gathering his thoughts, "Here, sit down," He led her to the couch. He sat beside her and she put her face into his chest, "What happened?"

She sat up and wiped her eyes, "He was drinking," She cried, "He never drinks. I would never get with someone who drinks like that. Look at you for God sakes! That was the exact reason I never did get back with you. He just started fighting with me and he pushed me so I pushed him back and this happened. It all happened so fast I never saw it coming."

He took a deep breath trying to say the right thing, but nothing was coming out, "You can't marry him…look what he did to you."

"I have to," She could barely get the words out. He frowned.

"Why?" He asked gently holding her arms. She couldn't look at him as she said it. It made her more upset.

"I'm pregnant."

 **Thoughts!? (If you read chapter 7 you'll see that Serena DOES cheat on Ray with Shikamaru, so just food for thought) Leave a review!**


	15. I'm Keeping It

**Omg so many reviews. I'm sorry if you don't like the way the story changed! I thought it would spice things up a bit! Let me know your thoughts!**

 **Chapter 15: I'm Keeping It**

"You're…you're what?" Shikamaru asked frozen in his spot. He couldn't believe what just came out of her mouth, "You're not gonna keep it are you?"

She looked at him, "How can you even ask me that? He's going to be my husband. Of course I'm keeping it." She replied.

He felt jealous. How could she keep Rays, but not his? It was like a slap in the face to him, "But…he hit you. He put his hands on you. How can you stay with him?"

She wiped her eyes again, "We're going to have a child together, I can't just leave."

He stood up. He could feel himself getting worked up again, "But you left me! We were going to have a child together and you didn't keep it. Why is it so different?"

"Everything is different. The entire situation is different. No one will have to know that this baby was made out of wedlock. Nothing is going to be tarnished no shame will be brought down upon us for this. It's entirely different."

"No one could have known with ours. We could have gotten married."

"At 17?" She almost laughed, "I don't think they would have liked that."

"My parents wouldn't have cared. They loved you."

"Sure about that?" Serena asked. Was she really going to tell Shikamaru the truth after five years?

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked, "They wanted us to have a life together. They wanted our lives to turn out way different than they have been."

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "I don't see it like that. I see it the exact opposite."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you honestly believe I got to the Hidden Rain myself?" She asked as he just looked at her, wondering what she would say next, "Your father took me."

"No," He said in disbelief, "No, there's no way."

"Your father told me I would bring shame to the entire village, both of us would, if we kept it."

"No!"

"Your father told me that we couldn't keep it because we were only 17 and it was out of wedlock."

"No!"

"He held me down after I begged him to change his mind!" She shouted at him.

"You're lying!" He shouted at her. Why would his father betray him like that? How could he not tell him,  
"He wouldn't do that to me!"

"Yes he would and he did! I'm not lying!" She protested as he continued to pace the room, "He made it clear that it would never be accepted into the clan. That 'getting rid of it' was the best way. I wanted to keep it!"

Shikamaru didn't know how to feel. He wanted to pick up the bottle. His stomach was in knots, "Then why didn't you tell me beforehand?"

"I thought I could trust him. I thought if I told him first he could help me tell you and help us handle it."

"But why not tell me after it happened?"

She began to cry again, "Because I couldn't look you in the eye and tell you that the man you looked up to your entire life, had just helped terminate something you created. I couldn't do it."

"So you protected him…and destroyed us in the end." He stated with a blank expression on his face. He sat down beside her with his head in his hands, "And now you're having a baby with someone who is totally wrong for you."

"Ultimately yes, it's what I did. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I loved you more than anything Shikamaru, I didn't want you to hurt as bad as you did." She put her hand on his shoulder and moved closer to him.

"But we could have gotten through it together. We could have tried again later down the line. This guy is filling the spot of where I'm supposed to be."

"I know," Serena answered silently, "But we both made choices that we have to live with. I'm set to marry him. I'm going to have this child. I just hope that you can forgive me."

"I wish you weren't. You have no idea how this feels."

She was quiet for a minute, "Oh yes I do," He looked at her, "When you married Temari. That destroyed me inside, but I could never let you know that. Look at what I had just done to you. For three years I wished you wouldn't work out. Then last year I met Ray and he seemed to take away all the feelings I still had for you. But then everything changed."

"Like what?"

"You got divorced and I realized that I was leaving the village. Knowing I wasn't gonna see you even if it was for a second. All of the feelings just came flooding back into me these past few weeks and I didn't know how to deal with them."

"How are you dealing with them?" He asked, "Pushing them aside again?"

"No," Serena answered, "I don't think I am."


	16. Eat Your Lunch

**Leave a review with your thoughts! I don't know which way I want to take this story (whether Serena goes through with the marriage & baby, if she ends up with Shikamaru or single) Let me know what you're thinking!**

 **Chapter 16: Eat Your Lunch**

Shikamaru had arrived at his parents house a little before 12. He needed to confront his father about what Serena had said to him the night before. He wasn't sure if she was being truthful since it was a heated argument. Plus, she lied in the past, so why not lie now? Her words still went through his head as he stood in the kitchen, _I wanted to keep it._

"Shikamaru why don't you sit down and I'll make something for lunch," His mother smiled. She could feel her son's tension and wanted to make everything peaceful. It had been awhile since he was there sober and she didn't want it to turn into something sour.

"I'm not really hungry mom, but thank you." He answered back. His father was sitting at the table quietly, sipping on his tea.

"Son, listen to your mother. It's rude not to accept what she offers you." Hearing his father speak made him angry inside. But, out of respect for his mother, he sat down across from him.

"So how is everything going honey? You look better," Yoshino commented with her back turned to the two men. Shikamaru wasn't looking at his father.

"Fine. Well alright I guess." Shikamaru answered clearing his throat, "Temari is moving out. We're sort of, going our separate ways."

"Oh that's terrible," Yoshino answered, "She was always so sweet around us. But if it's for the best then I hope she finds happiness. You too Shikamaru, I hope you find happiness too."

Shikaku stayed quiet. Yoshino finished cooking and began to serve them when Shikamaru finally addressed the issue, "Why did you do it?" He asked looking at his father. Shikaku raised his eyebrows.

"Do what son?" Shikaku asked barely looking at him.

"Why did you do that to Serena? How could you look me in the eye after?" Shikamaru shot back. Yoshino looked between them. She had no idea what he was talking about.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Shikaku said simply, "Eat your lunch."

Shikamaru took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool, "Yes you do!" He yelled at his slammed his fist on the table and stood up, "You forced her to do it!"

Shikaku looked up at his son without moving his head. He took a deep breath, "She wanted to have it done. I only suggested where to go."

"You're lying! She told me that she wanted to keep it! You made her stay there and you had them kill your own grandchild!" Shikamaru's voice echoed through the entire house.

Yoshino looked at her husband shocked, "Shikaku…is this true?" She asked him horrified, "You forced her to have that procedure done."

Shikaku wiped his mouth and pushed his plate away and stood up, "You were 17. You were in no position to have a child of your own. Both of you were so clouded with this fantasy life of yours you wouldn't have made the right decision."

"We would have made it worked! We would have handled it ourselves! She thought she could trust you! I thought I could trust you! I looked up to you! How could you do this to me!?"Shikamaru cried. Small tears formed in his eyes.

"I was looking out for you!" Shikaku yelled back, "You had a life full of opportunity ahead of you! Do you know the reputation this clan would get if you had a child at that age without being married!?"

"I don't care about that!" Shikamaru screamed, "I never cared about that! I was happy! You took that away from me! You took all that away from me!"

Shikaku became calm again, "Yelling will get you no where. It's in the past. Stop harping on it. You're getting divorced. If it means that much to you to be with that one person, then by all means get it back."

Shikamaru let out a disappointed laugh and shook his head, "Right, like I could possibly get her back a few days before her wedding. I've _tried_."

"Sweetheart there must be something you can do. While I was delivering something to the medical center Sakura mentioned to me her concerns. Maybe if you talked to her-"

"It's pointless mom." Shikamaru said back as his voice was filling with sadness. His mother stared at him and saw the tears forming in his eyes. The last time she had seen her son cry was when Asuma died. She took a deep breath. Shikamaru's fist clenched tightly, "She's having a baby with him. There's no way she'd ever leave now."

Yoshino brought her son close to him, embracing him in a hug. He began to cry into her shoulder loudly. It was the first time he had let all his emotions about the past five years out. She teared up too. Shikaku sat quietly before getting up and leaving the room. Crying over a girl seemed weak to him. He didn't want to see his son show his weakness.


	17. You Lied To Him

**SIDENOTE: Thanks for all your input! For those of you hinting towards a ShikaSaku story, I don't think it will go in that direction ONLY because I never pictured them together. I always pictured maybe and InoShika hook up (although that probably won't happen either lol). To the guest who wanted a Temari/Kiba romance, that MAY be possible. I just have to figure out how to fit it into the story! Also, I'm not sure what I want Serena to do yet. Right now she's a loose canon (although I'd probably have her with Shikamaru, but he's not a fan favorite, but idk we'll see haha). Oh and lastly, I am clueless on how to do voting! I'm not entirely familiar with this site which is why I put all my questions at the beginning of the chapters. Plus, it gives you something to think about! So let me know your thoughts! [:**

 **Chapter 17: You Lied To Him**

"You did what!?" Sakura yelled at Serena as they sat in Sakura's room. Sasuke was in the living room studying a couple new moves he wanted to learn, "Why would you go over there!? Especially looking like that?"

Serena put her head in her hands and ran her fingers through her hair, "I don't know." She groaned, "Ouch!"

"Sorry, I used a little more chakra than I should have," Sakura answered. She was helping Serena patch herself back up fully, "You told him you were pregnant? Do you have any idea what that did to him?"

"I know, I know. The look on his face was devastating."

"And then you tell him you're keeping it because you're getting married. That's such a stupid reason. You shouldn't even be marrying him," Sakura blurted out as Serena shot her head in Sakura's direction, "Honestly, I can't keep it in anymore."

Serena slouched a bit, "He's not that bad of a guy."

Sakura scoffed, "Okay, now you're just blind. Any man that can hit a woman IS a bad guy. How can you not see that?"

"He apologized when I went back home. Everything is okay now."

"Serena!" Sakura yelled, "Open your eyes. This is the first of many times. Actually the second if you count that day your forehead was bruised. He'll end up killing you," Serena was silent, "It's not like you love him anyway."

"I'll learn to love him. We have a child together. What will people say about me if they find out I got another abortion? I can hear them now 'what a slut, she should have kept her legs closed'."

" _Learn to love him_?" Sakura repeated, "And what do you think they'll say when you're dead and we're burying you? 'Such a sweet girl, she should have gotten out the first time it happened'. Kakashi would be helping them lower your casket into the ground, trying not to show his true feelings but we all know he is dying inside. You're his little sister basically. He never looked at himself as your parental figure. You two were more like brother and sister."

"You know I came over here so you could help me and so I could get some good advice. But now I just feel judged and attacked."

"Because you're so obsessed with what other people will think of you!" Sakura yelled again. Sasuke could hear the entire conversation but tried to concentrate on what he was reading, "If you put aside how everyone else felt about you and focused on what made you happy, you'd probably be in a totally different situation."

"Like what? Being with Shikamaru?" Serena yelled back standing up, "God, what is with all of you and wanting me to be with him? Can you not accept the fact I'm getting married in a couple days?"

"Compare the two!" Sakura shouted back, "Shikamaru never put his hands on you. He treated you like gold and you two had so much fun together and you were genuinely happy. You would never in a million years go over to an ex's house if you were with him. You were head over heels for him."

"It's-" Serena went to speak but Sakura interrupted her again.

"And you can't even deny the feelings for Shikamaru. I saw it the first time you talked about him in five years. You think you're making the right decision but you're not. I'm sorry, but as your best friend I feel like I should be telling you this. Even if you don't get back together with him, just please, please don't marry Ray."

"Sakura..it's so much bigger than that…"

"Why? Because you're pregnant? Serena just because you made a mistake one time doesn't mean anything."

"But I fucked up last time. I let it happen. This is a second chance to finally do something right."

Sakura sat down with her friend, "But if it's not with the right person…do you really want to deal with that? Co-parenting with Ray. Sending your child to the Hidden Cloud for weeks? What if he holds a vendetta against you and keeps them?" Serena stayed quiet, "I'm not forcing you to do anything…but honestly…I could never imagine having a child with someone I didn't love…all because I didn't get a second chance with the person I do love."

Serena could feel her heart beginning to pound. Sakura made all the good points and Serena had been lying to her the entire time. Yeah, she was going to keep it, but not because it was Rays, "I know."

"Does Ray even know?" Sakura asked. It had been such an important question that had slipped her mind.

Serena shook her head, "No. He can't know."

Sakura was confused. First, she's telling her she's keeping it because she's getting married and it's his, but now she's saying he can't know? What was going on, "What are you talking about? Are you not keeping it?"

"No, I'm keeping it." Serena said again firmly. She knew she was giving Sakura the run around. Sakura's mouth was open and she had a confused expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm confused. How can you tell me you're keeping it but not even tell the father it's his? What are you going to do? Tell him when you're showing? 'Oh by the way Ray I've been pregnant for months just haven't thought of telling you', yeah that will go over smoothly I'm sure-"

"It's not Rays!" Serena almost screamed through her teeth, "I haven't slept with him recently."

Now Sakura was really confused. Finally, it clicked in her head and her eyes shot wide as her mouth dropped to floor, "You didn't." She said not taking her eyes off Serena. Serena took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "Holy shit. Oh my God."

"I know." Serena responded. Sakura wasn't dumb, she knew her friend would have figured it out eventually.

"When did you two even find the time to sleep together?" She asked, "Or have you been doing it the entire time?"

"No! When he came back to my place to talk things out again. It just kind of happened. I feel like such a piece of shit." Serena groaned.

"Piece of shit? You _lied_ to him!" Sakura shouted, "You made him believe it was Ray's! Why would you do that!?"

Serena stood up, pacing her friends bedroom, "Because it'll make everything worse!"

"How?" Sakura asked lowering her voice. She had to give her friend the benefit of the doubt, she was probably a raging, emotional wreck with everything that had gone on lately. Now this too.

Serena sat back down on Sakura's bed next to her, "Because,if I marry Ray and I can manage to pass this baby off as his…no one will ever know it was out of wedlock. If I leave Ray and suddenly show up pregnant and say it's Shikamaru's, everyone will know I cheated on my fiancé and they'll think even less of Shikamaru. They already don't think very highly of him."

"How many times do I have to say this? Who cares what anyone thinks. You're getting married in three days! What are you going to do when your child grows up and looks nothing like Ray, but Shikamaru?"

Serena let out a sigh of frustration, "I don't know. I'll have to figure something out. I can't even think straight I'm so confused and stressed out about everything. Getting married, leaving my life behind and now this!"

Sakura huffed, "You better figure it out. In three days you'll be a Mrs. There's no turning back after that."

"I just need time to think of a way of telling him." Serena answered.

"Telling who? Shikamaru? Do you honestly believe he'd be okay with you raising his child with someone else? You must be delusional." Sakura shot back as they both sat in silence. Sasuke, who they had seemed to forgotten was in the living room, sat back on the couch absorbing everything they had just talked about.

If it wasn't going to be Serena who told Shikamaru, it would be him.

 **Thoughts?**


	18. I Owe You An Apology

**Thank you Firefox for letting me know how voting goes! I'll add them to the end of each chapter if I have something I feel is vote worthy! Leave your thoughts in the reviews though along with your vote! You can also PM me if you have any questions or wanna talk about whatever! [:**

 **Chapter 18: I Owe You An Apology**

 _She's walking down the aisle. Everyone is staring at her as she gets closer to Ray. He's standing there, smiling. When she meets him, he leads her up to the altar, but his smile disappears. He looks pissed off and his eyebrows have furrowed._

 _"You cheated," He says, repeating it, getting louder and louder, "How could you cheat on me?"_

 _"I didn't!" She yelled, but he couldn't hear her. Her heart began to pound so loudly it filled her eyes along with his echoing voice. She looked down at herself. She was bruised and bloody. Her wedding dressed was ripped and dirty. She turned to look at the crowd and suddenly was faced in a different setting, but everyone was still there, watching._

 _There was a little boy, maybe 6 or 7. He was running around, playing. He had brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. Serena stood there, watching as Ray come over, looking at him. He frowned again and then looked back at his wife._

 _"How long did you think it would be until I found out? Did you really think you could pass his child off as mine? Do you think I'm dumb? How could you even face me knowing this isn't my child?"_

 _"What? No," Serena said. But again, no one could hear her and she was bruised, bloody and was happening? Why was this going on?_

 _She looked to her left and the scene switched again and it was dark. A house was on fire and she was in the middle of it. A gut wrenching shriek filled her ears._

 _"Daddy!" He screamed crying. He was sitting the corner, rocking back and forth._

 _"Come here!" Serena called waving him over. But it was no use. She looked around and saw Ray standing over something…or someone, "What did you do!?" She cried as Shikamaru's body lay lifeless underneath him._

 _Ray could finally hear her. He turned, looking at her with a cold stone expression on his face, "You did this. You caused this. If only you had kept your legs closed. You left and took him with you to be with_ _ **him**_ _. You two were mine, regardless of the genes he has. I_ _ **own**_ _you." Ray wiped off his knife and smirked._

 _The crowd began to gather around her:_

 _"How could you do that to him?"  
"Do you really feel no shame?"  
"Trying to pass him off as someone else's kid? You're sick."  
"He'd never forgive. He'd hate you forever."  
"You led him on and then ran back to him when things got rough."_

 _She saw his mother and father standing there, she was crying, "You killed our son….again." She cried staring at Serena._

 _They began to gather closer and closer towards her, like they were going to attack. Their voices filled her ears like piercing needles and she coward down covering them. She kept screaming no but they wouldn't stop. She couldn't take it anymore._

Serena flew out of bed like a springboard holding her chest. Her hair followed her and she breathed heavily. Her choices were beginning to haunt her. Was going through with this marriage a good idea? Would all of this really happen? She didn't think Ray would actually kill Shikamaru over it…but then again…he did hit her out of anger.

She laid on her back staring at the ceiling trying to calm herself down. Ray wasn't staying at her house. They had agreed to stay in separate places to make the big day 'even more special'. She ran her hand through her hair when she heard a knock at the door.

"Ugh, go away." She said to herself, "I want to sulk in my own misery." There was another one but louder. She groaned getting up and putting on a sweatshirt and pants. She opened the door, "Oh,"

Shikaku was standing there, not saying anything, "Is this a bad time?" He asked as she looked at him uneasily, "I was hoping you'd come out to lunch with me…to talk about some things."

Serena didn't answer right away. She was worried what he would say. Last time, he wanted to talk about the baby and Shikamaru…it was only certain he wanted to talk about the same thing, "Um…uh yeah I suppose. Give me like twenty minutes to get ready."

"Alright, I'll meet you there." He answered leaving her place. Her heart pounded slightly. She closed the door and ran into the bathroom to get ready. She figured he wanted to meet at the family's favorite place to go, so she headed there when she was done.

She spotted Shikaku sitting in the corner, drinking his usual tea. She walked over and sat down across from him. Neither of them said a word to each other while they ordered.

"Shikamaru came to see me yesterday." He began, "Apparently, you told him what really happened that day."

Serena ran her fingers through her hair, 'Figured he should finally know." She responded quietly.

Shikaku put his drink down and looked her in the eyes. He looked remorseful, "I owe you an _apology_. I should never have made the decision for the both of you. It was wrong. I hope you can forgive me…and I hope eventually he will too."

She sat there surprised at what came out of his mouth. She never thought he'd take ownership of his actions that day. But still, he had apologized, and she had to take that into some account, "It's alright. We can't change the past. There's no point in holding a grudge about it anymore."

He nodded, 'Thank you, it means a lot to me that you're willing to forgive me." He went silent again, "He also mentioned that you're expecting a child with your soon to be husband, congratulations."

Her eyes went wide. Was he telling everyone? God forbid it got back to Ray, "Uh thank you." She looked down as she answered and he picked up on it.

"Everything alright? I would think you'd be excited to tell everyone." He waited for her response but she didn't say anything, "Is it your soon to be husbands?"

She looked at him and sort of laughed nervously, "What? Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?" She couldn't stop the nervous laugh from coming out. Plus, if she had told him it was his son's, he might give her the same talk he did back then.

Shikaku knew she was lying. He was good at telling that about people. If it wasn't Ray's, it had to be someone else in the villages, "Just asking. It's not my place….but if it wasn't…I'm sure the father would want to know." Did he know?

 **VOTE:**

 **Do you think Serena is beginning to develop a guilty conscious?**

 **1\. Yes, she's done way too many messed up things**

 **2\. No, it's her own paranoia**

 **3\. It's her own fault, she has to live with the consequences**

 **4\. Other (you're own opinion)**

 **Who should Serena tell first about the pregnancy?**

 **1\. Ray**

 **2\. Shikamaru**

 **3\. Neither of them for now**

 **Please let me know you're reasoning as well when you answer! Thanks for being such awesome readers! :D**


	19. Divorce Papers

**Sorry I haven't updated ! Thanks for your input on the votes! Keep up the positive reviews! (Even if they're not positive leave them anyway, I could use the feedback) There will be more questions to vote on at the bottom! [:**

 **Chapter 19: Divorce Papers**

Temari was back in the village. She had finally decided to be the one to file for divorce. It killed her to do it but it had to be done. Her and Shikamaru were no longer compatible. If they were ever compatible to begin with. That's the part that hurt her the most. Had she just waste four years? She could have been in a better relationship with a child and happy life.

She was sitting at the small tea shop down the road from the Hokage's office thinking everything over when someone approached her, "Haven't seen you in awhile." He said smiling at her. She looked up.

"Kiba," She said as a grin formed on her face, "Haven't seen you in awhile either."

"Duty calls," He laughed, "Shino and I have been pretty busy now that Hinata has taken some time off. Mind if I sit down?"

"Of course, sorry, my mind is all over the place." She motioned for him to sit in the chair across from her, "Is everything alright with Hinata?"

He nodded, "Yeah, her and Naruto are just taking some time to themselves. I bet it's to try and reproduce. Like we need another Naruto in this village," He laughed, "So what's going on with you? Why is your mind all over the place."

She sighed, "Marital problems." She answered as he frowned. She looked at him and laughed, "Trust me, it's for the best we go our separate ways."

He nodded, "Damn, sorry to hear that. Shikamaru was always a good guy. I envied him for how great of a ninja he was becoming. It sucks to see someone you know go down hill."

"Yeah. Watching your marriage fall apart isn't any easier." She added, "I just don't get it. He wasn't like that in the beginning."

"Well I could think of a few reasons why…"Kiba trailed off.

"Like what?" Temari asked interested.

Kiba leaned back in his chair, "Serena really messed his head up a bit."

"What do you mean? I thought their breakup was mutual?"

Kiba shook his head no, "Not really. It sort of got brushed under the rug by the time you two got married. But she ended up getting pregnant and not telling him, just ran to the Hidden Rain and terminated the pregnancy. It really destroyed him inside. He was never quite the same after that. And to be totally honest I don't think he ever got over her."

Temari sat back in her chair, "He never told me that. She never mentioned it either when I went to talk to her."

"He pretty much pushed it way down deep. He doesn't deal with feelings very well, clearly. They both did. Plus, she probably didn't want to talk about it."

"That…explains a lot." Temari sighed, "Wow, I pushed the kids topic so much and he always got so defensive…now I know why."

"Don't blame yourself, I don't know if it's something that you could have fixed. Its between the two of them. They have to deal with it their own ways to move on."

Temari nodded, 'Still, I wish I had known…" She went quiet for a minute, "Have they talked since then?"

Kiba shrugged, "I don't know. I've heard rumors going around saying they've talked at each other's house. But they keep getting crazier and crazier."

"How?"

"A couple people are saying he spent the night there since they saw him leave kinda early the next morning. Who knows how true it is, these old bats will make up anything for attention."

Temari was quiet. Would Shikamaru really sleep with someone else while he was still married to her? Had it happened before? And was it before they even decided to get a divorce? Her mind was spinning with scenarios, "Do you really think they could have slept together?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't put it past them. There's always been some underlying feelings there between the two of them. Plus, with the mess Shikamaru has been, it could have been a spontaneous thing," Kiba noticed her getting sad, "Sorry, I didn't mean to make the conversation worse."

"No, no it's fine. Its better to know why my marriage didn't work than to constantly wonder," She answered looking at her watch, "Oh man, I have to go. I have to get these papers to Shikamaru so he can sign them and I can get them back to the Hokage."

Kiba stood up, "Well if you're ever in town again let me know, we could hangout sometime." He smiled at her as she collected her stuff and headed out. It was nice having a conversation with someone who wasn't intoxicated. Maybe she'd stay in the Leaf…or at least visit more often.

Shikamaru answered the door and looked at her strangely, "What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I need you to sign these divorce papers. I have to get them back to the Hokage before lunch." Temari answered stepping inside of their once called home. She swallowed feeling herself getting choked up. It was all ending.

"Oh, alright, sure." He agreed walking to the desk in his office and grabbing a pen. He took them from her and led her to the table. He began reading it over, initialing and signing where he needed to sign, "Wow, I can't believe it's actually happening…"

"I know," She said softly, "But I think you've already moved on." He just looked at her, "I've heard rumors that you left Serena's house early one morning…" She looked down and then up, the thought of it hurt her inside, "Did you two sleep together?"

His mouth opened but he wasn't sure how to answer, "What? N-"

"Please don't lie to me." She said firmly, "Our marriage is ending, the least you could do is be honest and tell me if you slept with someone else."

He took a deep breath. Temari was hurting. This would hurt her even more, "Yes," He breathed, "Yes, we slept together."

She was quiet for a minute, "How could you do that? We were still married. I was still your wife regardless of what was going on."

"I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened." He explained, "She was upset, I was upset, it just happened."

She took a deep breath, "Isn't she getting married? Does her fiancé even know?"

Shikamaru shook his head, "No, we agreed to never talk about it. _Please_ don't say anything." He pleaded.

Temari looked at him, what did she owe him? Why should she keep his secret? Serena's fiancé knew nothing and they were just gonna keep it that way? What kind of sick people do that? What kind of person would sleep with a married man? She didn't know how the relationship would play out and yet she felt it was okay to do that?

She took another deep breath and looked at him again, " I wasn't the right one for you was I?" He looked up at her, "And you weren't the right one for me. In a way…we were never supposed to end up together."

"What are you-"

"I know about what really happened between the two of you." She kept her voice low, "If she had never done that I bet you two would have been married all this time with a family of your own. You still love her. That's why you defiled our marriage. You wanted a piece of her again."

"Temari," He said softly looking at her. The damage was done and the only thing he could do was be truthful, "I'm sorry. I never should have done what I did to you. I took four years that you could have had with someone else…and there's no way I could change it. If I could I would. But I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve that. Yes, I still love her and yes, I wanted to be with her one more time before she got married…"

"Then why not end our relationship sooner? I don't think it would have hurt as bad," She asked.

"I don't know…I guess I was hoping it would work itself out, or that I'd somehow get over her." He sighed, "But I'm so sorry. I wish I could go in the past and-"

She put her hand up to stop him, "It's okay, really." She assured him, "Honestly, I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be. I mean I was at first and hearing the truth from you stings a bit but…I'm dealing with it. I guess it's a huge weight lifted off my shoulders…both of ours. We don't have to pretend to be happy anymore. And who knows, maybe we'll find someone we're supposed to be with." Shikamaru stayed silent, "Well…hopefully."

"Thank you." He said, "Seriously, it means a lot that you can forgive me." They both stood up. She was upset inside but she wasn't going to let him see it. She wanted to move on. But she didn't want him to see how pissed she was at Serena. Otherwise he'd give her a heads up.

" _Thank you_." She emphasized on her part. He handed her the paperwork and she nodded heading out. She took a deep breath as she closed the front door and headed to the Hokage's office. She was free. She was finally free. It was bittersweet, but it felt so good at the same time.

She still had one thing weighing in the back of her mind: dealing with the bitch that slept with her husband.

 **Vote:**

 **Question 1:**

 **Do you think Kiba was intentionally throwing Shikamaru and Serena under the bus?**

 **A. Yes**

 **B. No**

 **C. He was just answering honestly**

 **Question 2:**

 **Do you think Temari is more upset than she let on?**

 **A. Yes, her marriage is over how could she not be upset?**

 **B. No, Shikamaru was a dick and she probably realized that after spending time away from him**

 **C. She's numb from it, it hasn't sunken in yet so she hasn't felt those emotions yet**

 **Question 3:**

 **Will Temari do something drastic to Serena now that she knows about them sleeping together?**

 **A. Yes, she needs to confront her**

 **B. No, she's probably just mad**

 **C. She should have been more mad at Shikamaru than Serena**

 **Thanks for being awesome & voting! [:**


	20. Don't Lie to Me

**Thanks for your votes! I hope you like this chapter! Leave a review with your thoughts/ vote answers! [:**

 **Chapter 20: Don't Lie to Me**

The nightmares were getting worse. Serena couldn't even take a nap without images of Shikamaru dying or Ray finding out the baby wasn't his popping into her head. After the lunch with Shikaku, she finally decided to grow the balls to tell Shikamaru.

She knocked on his door and he didn't answer. She thought maybe he didn't hear it so she knocked again and no answer. She tried the door to see if it was unlocked and it was, so she went in. She took her shoes off and then peered around the wall to check if he was decent.

She made her way into the living room when she saw him sitting in a chair not facing her, "There you are. It's pretty rude to not answer the door when someone's knocking." She half laughed as she faced him. Her laugh went away.

There was Shikamaru, about 20 beers deep in a pool of his own misery. Some of the bottles made it to the floor in one piece, others were broken or smashed purposely. She looked around. There was glass all over the floor, like he was throwing them against the wall. The bottle in his hand was half empty and he just sat there staring into space. She frowned at him and he didn't look at her.

"Don't you have a wedding to get to?" He slurred almost. He could tolerate his alcohol very well now, "Haven't you fucked me up enough?"

"What the fuck are you doing? You're in recovery," Serena asked with coldness in her voice. Why would he give up all the progress he made?

"Fuck recovery." He spat out, "I don't need that bullshit medical center to help me with my issues."

Serena rubbed her face with her hand and went into his kitchen to find a trash bag. She walked back into the living room and began picking up the bottles. Shikamaru sat up, swaying a bit but keeping his balance.

"What are you doing?" He asked harshly, "You're not my wife. I can clean up after myself."

"I'm not gonna let you throw your life away. No, I'm not your wife but you're too intoxicated to even get up from that chair."

"You can't stop me," He burped as the words came out, "In two days you'll be gone. Like dust in the wind."

"Still, I can do something while I'm here." She didn't look at him as she spoke. She picked up most of the bottles and threw the garbage bag in his trash can out back. She went back in and opened his fridge, it was full. She pulled out the cases and set it on the counter.

"Don't you dare." He said through his teeth. He got up slowly as she began opening them and pouring them out into the sink. He swayed back and forth as he walked and fell once.

"This isn't you. This has never been you. I'm saving you, you have so much to live up to. Stop while you're behind," She commented trying to hint to the subject.

"You can't dictate what I do. This is the real me. And so much to live up to? I have nothing. No wife, partially my own fault, no children, no job and I barely see my friends."

Serena took a deep breath, "You'll have a child one day, do you want them to see you like this?" She kept her back to him the entire time. He just watched.

"One day," He mimicked her words, "In my dreams." Serena gripped the bottle she was about to pour out. This would be the perfect opportunity to tell him. But he was drunk. He would never remember. Before she could speak his voice appeared again, "Stop trying to make everything okay. This is what you do."

"I'm not trying to make everything okay, I'm trying to save your life."

"Well stop trying!" He shouted at her. She turned around, "You think that you can fuck up my mind and then come over and pretend everything is fine. Like you didn't just tell me you're having a baby with that guy."

"Shikamaru, that's-"

"What? What else could you possibly say? You're trying to ease your own conscious by making sure I'm fine. That I'm in recovery so that you don't feel like a shitty person for sleeping with me, for leading me on like we had a chance to be together again."

"No, no that's not it-" She shook her head but he wasn't having it. He didn't want to hear what she had to say.

"Stop lying!" She closed her eyes tightly as he began to yell again, "All you've done is lie to me! Nothing that comes out of your mouth is true. At least when it comes to me."

"That's not true." She said in her defense. How could she ever tell him now? He'd never believe her, 'You've got this all wrong."

"Do I?" He asked looking at her, "You came to me, out of no where to talk about the past, two months before your wedding. Why now? Because you're leaving? You had five years and you chose my lowest point."

"I didn't know-"

He interrupted her again, "It doesn't matter. Yeah, sleeping together was a decision on both of our parts…but you knew how I felt about you and you still went through with it. You took advantage of me for your own self gratitude."

"That's not true!" She shouted at him getting upset, "That wasn't it at all."

"Then what was it?" He asked looking at her. She looked down at the floor not saying anything, "That's what I thought. You're so fucked up in the head not even you know what's true anymore." She went to speak but he did it before she could, 'Just go. And I mean go. Move to the Cloud…and don't come back around here again."

 **VOTE:**

 **Question 1:**

 **Is Shikamaru justified in his drunk rambling?**

 **1\. Yes**

 **2\. No**

 **Question 2:**

 **Do you think Serena will ever tell him now?**

 **1\. Yes, she'll think of a way**

 **2\. No, he's made it clear he doesn't want to hear from her**

 **Question 3:**

 **What do you think will happen next? (Please put your answer in the review box!)**

 **Thanks for being awesome readers! [:**


	21. You're Using Him

**Thanks for your votes! I love all of you who have stuck with this story and review, even if it has gone in directions you wouldn't have chosen. I hope you like this chapter! There will be votes at the end! [:**

 **Chapter 21: You're Using Him**

"What are doing?" Temari asked from behind Serena. She was about to head out when she thought maybe she could stop by Shikamaru's to see if he was alright. She saw Serena going inside on her own before she could get there, "Did he give you a key or something?"

Serena was confused, why was Temari in the village, and why was she being so defensive and rude, "What? No, I was coming to see if he was alright."

"Why? He isn't your problem anymore. He was mine. Stop meddling in places you don't belong." Temari shot back at her.

"It's called caring. You can care about someone without them being 'your problem', " Serena spoke back. She was beginning to get angry.

"Please, you don't care about him. You just use him to your disposal."Temari folded her arms and glared at her, "Like you did five years ago."

"That was completely different," Serena said, "He knows the truth. It's over now."

Shikamaru heard yelling outside his house. It sounded familiar to him so he stumbled over to the door opening it seeing Temari and Serena having a standoff. They both looked at him. He raised his eyebrows.

"Is that why you slept with him? Because everything is over?" Temari blurted out. Serena's eyes went wide and she looked at Shikamaru with anger in her eyes. He looked at her shocked, "Does your fiancé know? Maybe I should tell him. I'm sure he'd love to know his future bride is shacking up with her ex boyfriend. Who was still _married_ by the way."

Serena swallowed hard. She didn't have a comeback, "Temari knock it off." Shikamaru said. Both girls looked at him, "Seriously, leave it alone. You don't understand."

Temari was surprised Shikamaru was already jumping on Serena's side, "You cannot be serious. She helped you put the last nail into the coffin called our marriage and you're defending her?" She turned to Serena, "Wow, you have your claws so deep in him, even he can't see that you're using him."

"I'm not using him." Serena said firmly, "None of this was supposed to happen." Serena wasn't sure why Shikamaru was standing up for her after the argument they just had.

"But it did. And the sickest part is that you don't even care. I showed up to your house in tears over my marriage and you had the audacity to look me in the eye and lie to me? You won't even tell the man you're marrying in two days."

"I'm sorry, it wasn't the right time to say anything, I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I-"

"Save it." Temari interrupted, "I did some digging on what everyone thinks of you around here. Of course none of them know you slept with a married man yet. I swear none of them had good things to say. I mean sure they said the usual, 'she's great at her job, kind to everyone, hardworking, Kakashi's twin almost'. But when I asked them about what they really thought? Wow."

Serena was almost to tears again, "You think I don't know what they say about me? Seriously? Your whole revenge scheme of trying to hurt my feelings. I _know_ what they think. Why do you think I'm trying to get out of here?"

Temari let out a laugh, "Most of them hate you. I even heard rumors that your friends don't think very highly of you. You know there are rumors about you two sleeping together circling town? Don't think it won't get back to your fiancé. You may be able to run from everyone else, but the truth and guilt will always be with you. You're not that good."

The anger was boiling over in all three of them. Serena didn't know what to say she was so angry and Shikamaru was drunk angry. Temari was revenge angry and it seemed all three would come to a head.

"How can you even live with yourself?" Temari asked her, "Knowing you killed his child? And then to actually sleep with him a month or two before your wedding. Are you not able to feel guilty?"

Serena stayed quiet. She had nothing to say. What could she say? Shikamaru, slowly sobering up, but barely, looked at Serena. He cleared his voice, "I don't feel guilty." Both girls looked in his direction again, "I don't feel guilty about it. I'm glad she cheated on her fiancé, guys a dick. I might feel guilty about fucking our marriage one last time, but I don't feel guilty about sleeping with her. It was both of our decisions."

Serena was thankful for Shikamaru in that moment. For him to step up and defend her said something. But still, he was probably only doing it to get at his ex-wife. He continued, "And for your information, her friends think highly of her. Sure, they may not have agreed with her decisions but they never looked down on her. The village will get over it eventually. I'm sorry it happened, but we can't change what happened."

Temari, knowing she was losing this battle, spoke up one last time, "You might think that, but ask Kiba what he really thinks. After all, he's the one who told me the _truth_."

 **VOTE:**

 **Question 1:**

 **Do you think Temari will apologize eventually?**

 **1\. Yes, she was just angry**

 **2\. No, she had valid points**

 **3\. In time probably, once she moves on with the situation**

 **Question 2:**

 **Was Shikamaru only sticking up for Serena to get back at his ex wife?**

 **1\. Yes, only because he was drunk**

 **2\. No, he never liked Ray so he most likely doesn't regret it**

 **3\. Little bit of both**

 **You can always add your own answer if you have another opinion! Thanks for being awesome readers! [:**


	22. Priorities

**Make sure to vote & leave a review! Hope you like this chapter! **

**Chapter 22: Priorities**

 _"Daddy!" The voice of a small child echoed through the house. It was happier than last time. He ran to the door awaiting his father's arrival._

 _Serena was in the kitchen cooking dinner, 'Don't bombard your father sweetie! He's been gone for a week, he's probably tired."_

 _"I'm not mom!" The little boy called back from the front door. Serena shook her head and laughed. She turned behind her to the little girl in the jumper._

 _"Are you happy to see daddy? You are?" She asked in a higher pitched voice. The little girl clapped and scrunched her face up with a smile and giggle. She heard the door open._

 _"Daddy you're back!" The little boy squealed. She could hear him jumping up and down trying to claw and his dad's arm, "I missed you!"_

 _"I missed you too,' He said calmly putting his stuff down. He scooped the small child up in his arms and walked into the kitchen, "Feels good to finally be home."_

 _"It's finally good to have you home. I swear, he is the exact opposite of you." Serena laughed as he placed the little boy down on the floor. He turned to his daughter._

 _"And I missed you too," He picked her up out of her jumper and bounced her on his hip, "I swear it's like you've grown so much since I've been gone."_

 _"I've been teaching her how to clap dad!" The boy smiled at his achievement, "She's basically got it! And I took care of the house while you were gone! I was the man!"_

 _"That's amazing! Thank you so much," He smirked, "Why don't you go and set the table for your mother." The small boy nodded and took off into the dining room, "He's got so much energy. Sure he's mine?"_

 _Serena turned to him, "Shikamaru!" She slapped him playfully, 'That isn't even funny!"_

 _"It's a little funny." He laughed, "But I don't know how you would have found the time to sleep with anyone else. Aside from training, we were glued to the hip at that age."_

 _"I know, what was 17 year old me thinking?" Serena shot back jokingly. He grabbed her in a bear hug as she laughed and swore she was joking. Everything seemed so good._

Serena felt her eyes open slightly. It was the first good dream she had in two days. She didn't want it to end. She wanted to stay in that fantasy forever. She wanted to see how her life could have turned out if she had kept their first child and eventually had their second.

She looked at the ceiling. When she woke up, the entire weight of everything was on her shoulders. She needed advice, and the only person who knew about everything was Sakura. She got up, got dressed and headed to the medical center. Hopefully she wasn't too busy.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. Her voice got lower as she looked to see if anyone was around, "Its not the baby is it?"

Serena shook her head, "No, I just need to talk. Are you super busy?"

"No, I have maybe a half hour. Come, we can go to the lounge." She instructed leading the way. Serena closed the door behind her and sat down in the farthest chair from the door at the table, "So what's up?"

"Well I went to go tell him…" Serena started. Sakura leaned forward waiting for her friend to continue, "And it turned out way differently than I thought it would."

"Like how? Was he mad or upset about it?"

"Oh he was mad alright." She said, "I didn't even get to tell him. When I got there he was gone. There were bottles all over the place. I started cleaning up just to calm my nerves. We got on the topic of children and before I could tell him he just went in on me."

"He relapsed?" Sakura asked disappointed shaking her head, "What did he say?"

"He went on this rant that I took advantage of him and that I'm a liar. Then to make matters worse, as I was leaving Temari got ahold of me and chewed my ear off about us sleeping together and how none of my friends like me."

"She confronted you? Kiba told me he talked to her about their divorce. She had the papers in hand. I guess it's final. She was probably just saying stuff because she was mad."

Serena sighed, " No wonder he was drinking. God, why am I such a fuck up? I made everything worse."

"If you want, I could go talk to him. Maybe hearing the truth from someone other than you will open his eyes."

"I don't know, he made it clear he wants nothing to do with me anymore. Maybe its not even worth it to tell him…"

"You can't be serious." Sakura frowned, "Don't give up because of one argument. He's that child's father. He deserves to know."

"Sakura, I'm getting married tomorrow, God knows why I'm even bothering though. I don't have time to deal with him right now. I just need to focus on one thing at a time."

"Fine, but I'm still talking to him. An outside perspective could help him."

"I doubt he'd even believe you." She put her head in her hands, "And to make everything worse, I'm having dreams about him."

"There's nothing wrong with having a dream about someone,' Sakura chuckled

"When they're all nightmares it is. The first good one happened this morning…it was the strangest thing. Honestly I didn't want to wake up." She sat up, running her hands through her hair.

"What was it about?" Sakura asked. Serena was never like this about a nightmare or dream she had. Sakura was the one who usually freaked out.

"We were married." She began, "We still had our first child…and this one. We were happy. I loved being there."

"That's trippy," Sakura commented, "But it sounds like the perfect world. Look, like I said, I'm going to talk to him. But you really need to think about what you're doing tomorrow."

"I know, I know." She said putting her hands up, "I need a better filing system in my brain."

"Just gotta figure out your priorities..and fast."

 **VOTE:**

 **Will Sakura tell Shikamaru the truth about the baby?**

 **1\. Yes, she doesn't like Ray and would do anything to get them together. He deserves to know before she gets married.**

 **2\. No, it's not her place**

 **3\. It just needs to come out no matter who tells him, he needs to know**


	23. Do I Have to Spell it Out for You?

**Make sure to vote and leave your thoughts in the review box! Thanks! [:**

 **Chapter 23: Do I Have to Spell it Out for You?**

The night before the wedding

Sakura hadn't spoken about it to Sasuke and he pretended he didn't know anything. He wasn't going to tell Sakura what he was planning, she would freak out. But even she wanted to tell Shikamaru. It was only right. He was the _father_ after all. She was determined to talk to Shikamaru before the wedding.

"I think we should check on Shikamaru," Sakura suggested one night at dinner. Sasuke glanced up at her, "He can't be dealing with any of this easily. Serena mentioned he had already relapsed."

Sasuke nodded, "Alright, we can head over there after dinner. Let's bring Naruto, he has a way of lightening the mood." Sakura agreed and continued eating. It would be hard to tell Shikamaru with Naruto there, but maybe with Naruto there it can help them. She didn't know how, but she considered it.

She wanted to tell Sasuke, but in a way she knew he already knew. The walls weren't that thick and both girls were screaming at eachother about it. They finished up in silence, Sakura cleaned up and then they were both off the Nara's house. They picked up Naruto on the way and when they got there, only one light was on. Sakura knocked. Two minutes later, the door opened.

"Oh, hey," Shikamaru answered in a hoarse voice, he coughed for a minute, "What's up?"

"Can we come in? We just wanted to see how you were doing." Sakura replied. She looked past him to see if there were any bottles lying around.

"Yeah Shikamaru move aside let us in," Naruto piped up from behind her. Shikamaru let out a small laugh and stepped aside, "Your very own bachelor pad, how is it?"

Sakura nudged him in the ribs, "Shut up," She said through her teeth. They all sat down.

"So you want to see how I'm doing? Well, this is pretty much it." Shikamaru sighed, "Nothing too exciting. Been practicing my Shogi, my dad still kicks my ass. Although I haven't seen him in awhile."

"You haven't been drinking have you?" Sakura asked in a serious tone. Naruto got quiet as he was about to say something.

Shikamaru shook his head, "No, I've been wanting to, trust me. I guess you guys came at the perfect time."

Sakura frowned. He was lying. Why was he lying, 'You're lying." She said to him, "I know you did. Serena told me."

Shikamaru sighed, "She's a great blabber mouth." He stretched and sat back in his chair, "So what? Come to reprimand me? Tell me how much progress I just lost?"

"No, you made your own decisions whether any of us agree with them or not. And she was venting to me. I am her best friend after all." Sakura said

"So then why are you really here?"

"We just came to talk."

It was silent for a second, "Fine, can I ask you a question?" Shikamaru asked looking mainly at Sakura. She nodded, "Did you know? About the whole Hidden Rain thing?"

"Yeah," Sakura answered, "It was horrible."

Shikamaru scratched his head, "Yeah well…I wish she'd go there again. How can she have a baby with him? After everything he did to her?"

"What?!" Naruto shouted, "She's pregnant? Since when!?"

"Naruto quiet down. Yes she's pregnant…and I don't know. She didn't tell me how far along she is." Sakura answered, "Trust me, healing her wounds from him…I'm surprised she still has it."

"He doesn't deserve to become a father." Shikamaru shot out airing his thoughts. Sakura and Sasuke exchanged uneasy looks, "What? What do you know that I don't? Is she not keeping it?"

"No she is." Sakura answered. She couldn't tell him. Not with Naruto there, "I just think you should talk to her about it."

"I think I said all I can. She's so stubborn, he could tell her flat out he didn't love her and she would still stay with him. I don't get it." Shikamaru sighed. What was the use anymore, "Plus, I told her I didn't want to hear from her."

"Wait, what's going on? I'm so confused." Naruto said. Sasuke stayed quiet. Sakura took a deep breath, "Can someone please tell me what's going on?"

"Shikamaru I really think you should talk to her. She does care about you and does love you. Things are just complicated." Sakura ignored Naruto.

"Bullshit. If she did she wouldn't be getting married to him or having his baby." Shikamaru shot back. The anger was building in his voice.

"That's why you need to talk to her. Just do it!" Sakura urged, "Before the wedding!"

"Why are you pushing this so badly? You should be happy we aren't speaking. Then she can get on with her life and not be bothered by a drunk like me. She'll have her perfect little family with him and they can have as many kids as they-"

Sakura stood up, her anger was building and she couldn't keep it in anymore. She was going to explode, "He isn't the father!" She shouted. Sasuke closed his eyes and stayed quiet. Naruto's mouth dropped and his eyes grew wide. Shikamaru just looked at the pink haired girl standing in the middle of the room.

"What are you talking about?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" She shot back angrily, "Ray was no where near the village when she got pregnant. She only slept with one person."

Shikamaru sat up and if his eyes went any wider they would probably pop out of his skull. Was the baby his? Could it have really happened again? He couldn't move, he was frozen. The thought of them having a child together was what he always wanted. But was she going to take it to the Cloud with her? There were a million questions going through his mind, he didn't know where to start.

"Why didn't she tell me?" He asked first

"Why do you think she came over last night genius?" Sakura asked coldly, "Seriously. You've been such a dick to her, when she was trying to tell you the truth. And before you ask, I don't know what's going on with the wedding. She's got a lot of things to sort out. We'll find out tomorrow."

"She can't take my child to the Cloud." He said firmly, "I won't let it happen."

"Who knows if she's even going to the Cloud. Like I said, we'll find out tomorrow. Just please don't bombard her about it before she walks down the aisle. She'll have a panic attack if she knows I told you before she could."

Shikamaru didn't like that idea. If she went through it, she'd be taking his child from him. Sakura had a point though, they had fought so much he just wanted to have a normal conversation. Staying away from the wedding was his best bet, "Okay. I don't agree with it…but I'll wait."

 **VOTE:**

 **Question 1:**

 **Has reality actually hit Shikamaru?**

 **1\. No, it hasn't sunken in, when it does he'll freak**

 **2\. Yes, he's a semi-calm guy, that's his best reaction**

 **Question 2:**

 **Is Shikamaru really going to stay away from the wedding?**

 **1\. Yes, his eyes are actually opened and he'll give her space**

 **2\. No, that's his child, he has to express his feelings about it before she gets married**

 **Question 3:**

 **Do you think Serena will go through with the wedding?**

 **1\. Yes, she wants to get away from the village**

 **2\. No, she doesn't love Ray and she's having a baby with Shikamaru, she's gonna stay**

 **3\. Who knows, girls a whirlwind**

 **Make sure to vote! Thanks for being awesome readers! [:**


	24. I Serena, Take You Ray

**Sorry I haven't updated! I hope you like this chapter! Leave a review with your thoughts! [:**

 **Chapter 24: "I Serena, Take You Ray"...Maybe?**

Wedding day

Serena hadn't slept much. Lady Tsunade had called for Serena to come to her office early in the morning to finish her paperwork for her transfer of citizenship. When she walked in, Tsunade didn't think she was looking at the right person.

"Serena, are you alright? You look terrible."

"I'm…I don't know if there's even a word for it." Serena answered softly.

"Between you and Nara…I should check up on my shinobi more often." Tsunade commented. Serena didn't laugh. She just stood there with a blank expression on her face, "You sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine," She yawned widely. She blinked her eyes a few times to keep herself awake.

"When was the last time you slept?"

"I think a week ago." Serena replied tiredly. Her entire body screamed exhaustion and Tsunade could sense it, "I'm fine though, you said you wanted to finish up the transfer papers, I can do it."

"No, it's fine. Come back in two days. You're getting married today, go take a nap. This can wait." Tsunade instructed as Serena went to leave.

An hour before the wedding:

Back at Shikmaru's, he and Choji were standing in his living room, getting ready to go. He promised Sakura he'd stayed away, but Choji really wanted him to go. He didn't know what to do. Shikamaru confided in Choji about what went on the night before.

'Shikamaru if you don't do it today you'll never get the chance to! Don't chicken out!" Choji urged

"Choji, she already knows my feelings for her. If she wanted to be with me she would have left him!" Shikamaru shouted in a whisper, "She may be having my baby, but I doubt she'd want to raise it with me. Look at me, my life is a shit hole."

"I'm just saying, she's thinking about a lot, just go and talk to her!"

"Man, you're such a pain." Shikamaru groaned, "I don't even think I should be going. I might just wait."

"Have it your way man, I have to get going. I'll let you know how it goes." He bid goodbye to his friend and took off to the church. He couldn't believe Shikamaru was just going to let her get away. With his child.

Meanwhile, in the bridal suite, Serena was staring at herself in the mirror as Sakura zipped up her dress. She hated herself. She hated who she was looking at. She never imagined her life getting to the point. The day that seemed to be so far in the future, had snuck up on her in a blink of an eye.

"You look beautiful," Sakura said low as she looked from behind her friend. Serena half smiled, "And I mean that. You make a pretty bride…even if it is to the wrong person."

"I'm nervous." Serena said, "I think I might throw up…and I don't think it's from morning sickness."

"Pre-Bridal jitters no doubt. Here, I brought this." Sakura went to her bag and pulled out a pill case, "There to help ease nerves. I packed a bunch for myself and the rest of the girls. Maybe even Kakashi. He looks calm but who knows under that mask."

Serena's hands were shaking as she took one and downed it with a water bottle. There was a knock on the door. Sakura went over and opened it, "Does she have a minute?" Sakura moved aside and Serena's face went to a sad one. Shikamaru walked in and let out a small smirk, "Wow,"

"Wow you," Serena said back trying to laugh. She couldn't get it out. It's like the only emotion she was allowed to feel was fear. Sakura had walked out to give them a sense of privacy. She hoped they didn't fight. He wasn't supposed to be here, "I pictured this day a lot differently."

"More flowers?" He asked trying to get her to laugh. He could sense how tense she was. She smirked slightly.

"Less fear. Different person, you know, the usual things people think about on days like this." She shot back, "Thanks for coming though."

He nodded, "I'm not staying…I just wanted to apologize for the other night…the things I said. I didn't mean them," He answered as she frowned. It got silent for a moment, "You make a great bride."

"Thanks. You clearly made a good looking groom." She laughed at her own joke. It was a jab but it got her to laugh and he chuckled.

He shrugged, "It happens. So I'm guessing you told him? About the pregnancy?"

She felt herself getting a lump in her throat, "Um, no…no not yet…" Her mind was beginning to run a million miles a minute with the struggle of telling him or not.

"Why not? Are you considering not keeping it?"

The universe was screaming at her to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out, "No, no I am…" Her body was trembling again and she couldn't speak.

"Serena…what's wrong? I've never seen you so scared before." He began to get worried about her. Was she afraid of her soon to be husband or just telling him? He knew the truth, but he wanted to give her a chance to tell him.

"Everything," She choked out, "I don't know what to do."

"About what? Did something happen to the baby? Did you lose it?" Shikamaru asked trying to play the guessing game. He'd never seen her like this. She swallowed hard and shook her head. A few tears formed in her eyes, "Don't cry. It's your wedding day. You're supposed to be happy."

"Happy?" She repeated, "How can I be happy? There is so much wrong with this entire situation. I feel like my heart is going to explode and my brain won't turn off for five seconds. I'm getting _married_. Oh my God." She began to pace the room.

'You need to calm down, take deep breaths." Shikamaru instructed trying to ease her worry, "Do you want me to get someone? Sakura? Kakashi? Ray?"

"Not Ray." She shot back looking at him before pacing the room again, talking to herself, "God, what the fuck am I doing with my life? I'm knocked up and marrying a guy who isn't the father. What kind of piece of shit am I?"

"What?" Shikamaru asked catching that one line. She turned to him with her mouth open as she realized what she said. She didn't say anything so he spoke up again, "I already know."

"You know?" She choked out not being able to speak. He nodded

"Sakura told me," He could feel himself getting upset, "I don't think it's sunken in yet. But if this guy makes you happy…then I guess we'll have to make co-parenting work."

"Are you- Are you serious?" She almost thought she was dreaming. What changed in him? Why wasn't he fighting for her to stay?

"Yes, I'm not father material. I love the fact its mine…but look at my life. It's a mess. If you can give our child a happier life with a guy who makes you happy…then I can't stand in the way of that."

"Shikamaru…I-" She didn't finish, she just stood there looking at him trying not to cry, but it wasn't working. Both of their worlds just stoodstill and neither knew what to say or do. Shikamaru wanted her to tell him the wedding was off and that she didn't want to marry Ray. Serena wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there.

A knock at the door broke them from their staring daze and Kakashi walked in, "Oh, hi Shikamaru," He said in a surprise, "Are you ready?"

Shikamaru looked at Serena but she looked at Kakashi and wiped her eyes, "Yeah," She said calmly grabbing her bouquet and heading to the door. Sakura was there to meet her and Choji peered his head in.

"Shikamaru, you coming?" Choji asked. Sakura wanted to stay but had to join the wedding party. She knew whatever happened wasn't good, "Shikamaru?" Choji asked again.

Shikamaru turned to his best friend and swallowed, "I let her go..." He looked at Choji and his mouth dropped. He walked down the hallway and found one of the exit doors, getting out of there. He felt sick.

The walk down the hallway and to the church doors was silent. Serena still felt like she was going puke, "We have to wait here until everyone is in their seats." Sakura instructed as they all broke away from eachother, 'What the hell happened in there?"

Serena looked at her, "He told me he knows..."

"What?!" She yelled in a hushed voice, 'Why now? Why today!?"

"I don't know, but it didn't go how I thought it would."

"Well, what did he say!?"

"He told me he's okay with me taking them to the Cloud," Serena answered with her brows furrowed with worry, "He said whatever makes me happy."

"Why the fuck are you still going through with this if he knows now? Now's your chance to have a future with him!" Sakura half shouted.

"Alright, we're ready." Kakashi announced leading Serena away from Sakura. They were in the back while Sakura, along with Ino and Hinata were ahead, holding onto some of Ray's friends arms. The doors opened and they started filling out.

"I think I'm gonna pass out." Serena said as they got closer. She held onto Kakashi's arm tightly. He felt it going numb.

"Just breathe…" He guided as they got to the door entrance, "It's supposed to be a great day." He began to lead her down the isle.

Everyone in the village was there. The Hyuga's, the Akimichi's, the Yamanaka's, the Nara's, the sensi's, Lady Tsunade, some of her coworkers at the medical office and all her friends. She felt the world closing in on her as she stared ahead. Ray was standing at the altar with a grin on his face.

Everything was running through her head. It seemed like her steps were in slow motion. The past began replaying in her head and all the things everyone had told her. The times with Shikamaru, how happy he made her. How when she hungout with her friends, it was always fun. The way her life would change began to flood her head at the same time. What could happen with Shikamaru and their child.

Ray met her at the bottom of the altar and took her arm from Kakashi. She dug her nails into his arm trying not to let go but he helped shake her grip, "Please, be seated." The priest instructed as everyone sat down, "We are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony."

It felt like there was pressure on her chest and it kept getting heavier. She could barely breathe. The priest was talking but she couldn't make out what he was saying. She couldn't stop thinking about him: Shikamaru. They would be having a baby together…yet here she was, marrying someone else.

"Serena, will you repeat after me," The priest began, "I Serena…"

"I," She said slowly, "Serena…"

"Take you Ray,"

"Take," She looked out from the corner of her eye. She glanced over the crowd. A couple of her friends sat there frowning and Sakura was shaking her head. Kakashi didn't make an expression, just looked on. The Nara's sat there and Yoshino's brow was furrowed, "Take…" She couldn't get the words out, she looked back at Ray and at the priest, "I can't do this."

Everyone gasped as she turned and took off down the aisle. Ray stood there alone whispering 'Damnit' under his breath. Kakashi stood up and Sakura looked at the group with a smirk and let out laugh, 'She did it." She announced, "She actually left him."

"And at the altar," Ino added as the rest watched her flee the scene, "No better way to end a relationship I guess."

"Yeah, but where do you think she's going?" Naruto asked as the doors opened.

"I can think of a few places," Choji answered as the rest of them smiled.

Serena had burst through the first set of doors and ran into a room off the foyer. She began pacing it as Kakashi entered, "Everything okay?" He asked watching her. She looked like she was hyperventilating.

"I can't, I can't go through with this," She began crying, "I don't love him, I just can't." She sat down in a chair and put her head in her hands. Kakashi knelt down in front of her, "It's always been him. I thought if I could run away from the feelings they'd eventually disappear. But we're having a baby together."

Kakashi leaned closer hoping he caught that right, "You're pregnant?" He asked as she nodded, "Okay. We'll take this one step at a time. I'll tell everyone that the wedding is cancelled and let Ray down easy. It's going to be okay. This village is your family…" He got up and helped her up, hugging her, "No one will be disappointed in you. I'm not. Frankly I'm happy this happened." He let go of her and she smirked slightly, "I'll go get Sakura…"

 **VOTE:**

 **Question 1:**

 **Do you think Shikamaru was telling Serena what she wanted to hear?**

 **1\. Yes, he wants her back, so he'll tell her anything**

 **2\. No, he probably realized she's sort of happy**

 **Question 2:**

 **Are you happy Serena didn't go through with the wedding?**

 **1\. Yes, she clearly wasn't happy**

 **2\. No, Ray was better than Shikamaru despite some kinks, but he would have been a better suitor**

 **3\. Other (let me know what you think in the review box!)**

 **Thanks for voting and being awesome readers! [:**


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